Childhood trauma lies beneath… and what lies beneath that?

I have spent the last two years reading about adverse childhood experiences, going to therapy, and sharing at support groups about my learned helplessness and codependent relationships. I can draws line from a lot of my current compulsive behaviors and fear to an abusive childhood. Although I can weave in and out through all the painful memories and maladaptive patterns, by observing them without judgement and reminding myself of the source (childhood neglect and abuse), I wonder if I’m re-inflicting childhood trauma? I wonder at what point does narrating/observing a painful childhood becomes superfluous?

I thought if I could break apart all my painful romantic relationships, feelings of loneliness, learned helplessness, and traumatic childhood memories … if I can break apart everything in itty bitty pieces then I’d have control over my pain and current fears. I understand why I am the way I am. I understand trauma is just a PART of me–not the entire me–but I’m having trouble figuring out what’s left?

But what lies beneath the trauma? Perhaps I haven’t done enough grunt work in healing, but I’m feeling a bit … empty?

Thank you all and appreciate the input.