it sounds like this is a relationship you just should not be in…..imagine ten years down the road do you really think it would be a good relationship to be in if you had rocky times from day 1?
I am sorry that you find yourself in this state. What is your definition of love ? How can you still say that you love your husband despite your fling over the last 1 year ? Do you think your mind might be fooling you about your feelings and commitment towards hubby ?
You might not be able to understand the gravity of the situation at present moment as perhaps, your needs have not been met fully in your married life. But hey, what about hubby ? Is he doing the same thing ? How would you react if hubby was indeed doing the same thing ?
Anyways, I wish you all the best and hope you sort your life out.
When we do ‘wrong’ action we bring about our own suffering
Towards the very end of his speech, the Dalai Lama says that when we cause the suffering of other beings and when we do not foster compassion for others inside of us we feel very very, alone; we wrap ourselves into a cocoon, isolated from others. Compassion for your husband;for the pain you know you have caused; will bring about happiness, love and compassion in yourself. Until you do this you will feel alone, isolated, cold. Guilt is not the antidote, but compassion and love for a being you have done wrong to will help bring you peace and happiness. We cannot do something harmful without it harming us.
While we all seek our own happiness and lack of suffering; we often step on and over other people in order to get it; but this brings disharmony and unhappiness. You feel alone because of your immoral actions here.I feel compassion for you that you were very probably suffering and this caused you to have an affair. But you cannot run from yourself, your life; this will only make you suffer more.
Until you develop compassion, love; then the lonely feelings (the result of your harmful action) will continue, you will not ever be happy ans peaceful.
Love to you and good luck on your journey, what we do can be made right by neutralising the suffering in ourselves and others, caused by wrong action; this can only be done through OTHER focus, love and compassion. By focusing on the other, our own suffering turns to peace. There is no other way; the self connects to the actions we commit against others.
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