Dear Maria:

Reading your post made me think of these words of a popular song: “If loving you is wrong, I don’t want to be right”-

your boyfriend is “a very handsome, intelligent, funny, hard-working partner at home” but the two of you are not truly compatible and being with him doesn’t make you feel alive. How do I know this? Because you asked later: “Lose everything I’ve built until now but find someone who I’m truly compatible with and who makes me feel alive?”

Your intellect is strong, rational thinking, evaluating. The last sentence I quoted has impulsive emotion in it, the truth poured on an impulse, and so it is… the naked truth (while your evaluation of your boyfriend and your relationship with him is dressed up with intellect).

Because you are only 26 and have no children, and because your heart is not in it, I would end the seven years relationship, if I was you. Let your boyfriend go because he is unhappy and so are you. Take it on with the boyfriend to the next level- sure, it may not work, but your relationship with your boyfriend is already not working, and has not worked for a while.

anita

Hi Maria,

I feel like your post said that you tried very hard with this man for seven years, but he was the one who said “he was losing it, and very unhappy with the relationship”. You did your best to make it work, bought the house with him..but despite our best intentions, sometimes people grow apart.

Meanwhile, you met this other man, and things are working out very well. I don’t really consider this cheating because your boyfriend already told you he was unhappy. It is not your job to make anyone happy. I think you should trust your intuition and gut and go where you are happy, and wanted. Keep us posted.