Dear S-Buddha:

Did I understand correctly: he broke up with you after the first and only time you had sex?

If so, anything about that experience to provide a new possibility as to the Why you are trying to figure?

anita

Hi S-Buddha,

I am sorry this happened, especially right before Christmas. From my own experiences, (or I should say, unfortunately, several, several experiences, online relationships rarely work out. I have had many, both long distance and local. Always ended the same. Either distance, or if they are “online” they like to stay “online” and are usually not relationship ready, preferring just to flirt or hook-up, date many women.

Also, he told you he did not want to be in a relationship. I usually take that as a red flag, because no matter what you do, they won’t change, and months later still not be ready for any kind of relationship, and you can’t change that person. Also, I feel it scared him off when you told him it was okay to go slow, but then told him you did not want him to talk to other people while you were away. He might have thought that “controlling” especially when he initially expressed to you, that he did not want a relationship. He is not emotionally available, which is why he did not seem interested in your day, or what you had to say. He just want to date and have “fun”. He felt you were getting too serious too quickly which is why he took the cowards way out and said he “felt a disconnection”. It had nothing to do with you. Like he told you, unfortunately, he did not want a relationship.

Best to meet someone in person, really get to know them before becoming intimate. Get to be their friend first. Take things slow. Try to meet them at church, coffee shop, dog park (lots of cute single nice men have dogs they take for walks). Try to stay off online dating sites. Too complicated. You deserve better.

All good now, sorry..might be the weather, it’s 10 below here..