Your situation sounds so similar to mine. I met someone 10 years ago when my children were small and against my better judgement and despite fighting the emotion down I fell for him big time. He and I became best friends and have also shaped each others lives and supported each other through difficult times. Eighteen months ago something happened to force us apart but neither of us were prepared to accept giving up altogether even though we knew it was the right thing to do. Now this week, he has finally pushed to make a break and even though we have lines of communication still available I think for the first time we are both prepared separate. We were both in love with the idea of being in love but we also did (and still do) love each other. I still hold (a little too tightly maybe) onto the idea that we will be together at some point but realistically there is no guarantee that this will happen. At the moment if it doesn’t I feel I will always regret it.
I think you are going to find it hard to make the break in the way you say unless he is also prepared to follow it through. This is why ours has continued as long as it did. Having said that if we had tried to break early on maybe there would have been more resolve to stick with it. I don’t know. I should regret this relationship as it goes against all the ideals I believe in and yet I don’t and it has made me into the person I am today. At the moment I am trying to look back and be grateful for what it has given me rather than looking forward and wondering how I will manage without it. I know that people will judge this situation and many will be enraged (as I would have myself). Unfortunately I feel I fell in love with the right person at the wrong time. However I also know that for 10 years we have lived in the “passion” stage of our relationship without having to deal with the realities of paying bills and smelly socks. But there is also a part of me that will regret it if I do not get to experience this part of life with him too.
I sympathise with your dilemma. Mine has shaken me to the core and made me re-evaluate all the beliefs I held dear.