I have been following the boards here for a few months now and I have read so much great advice. I am at a complete loss in my life right now and I could really use some advice. I have been with the same guy for 3 years and he is what you would call love of my life. However he has serious anger issues and although we complete each other we also fight constantly. Recently the relationship has gotten abusive and he has impulsively gotten me in trouble with the law by lying to authorities on several occasions. I know our relationship is toxic and I know I need to focus on myself but I can’t help but think that I shouldn’t give up on us. Give up on the strong love I feel for him. I feel crazy because my boyfriend has purposely and repeatedly hurt me both physically and mentally and I can’t let go of him. Friends and family have told me that if he loved me then he wouldn’t he hurt me like he does. I know he loves me but he is he is jaded from the military and has lost hope in everything including himself. He isnt ready for therapy and I dont want to force him but I don’t want him to suffer anymore either. I miss him constantly even though I keep myself busy with work, hobbies, friends, and family. I know who I am and what I want and he’s part of it all. I have decided to cut off all communication with him in fear that he will hurt me again or get me in trouble but I know if I were willing he would want to work things out. That’s what I constantly think about….all the ways we could fix this. Even though I know I deserve to be with someone who treats me right all of the time….it literally makes me physically sick to not be with him. Loyality has always been important to me and I am not sure I a can give up my loyality to him and my feelings even if it ends up destroying me more than he already has. I feel like I’m fighting a never ending battle with what I want to do and what is the “smart” think to do. Any advice at all is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading.