HomeβForumsβTough Timesβcan someone define love and show how to love myself and others
- This topic has 121 replies, 8 voices, and was last updated 10 years, 3 months ago by Rahel.
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July 28, 2014 at 12:16 pm #61977RahelParticipant
Hey Moongal.. Dont be sorry yaar…
I felt bad just because u guys have come across the pain and situation which at present i am undergoing.. so i felt that i didnt communicate myself better, thats y u got irritated..
I am clear about the problems and the issues… as mentioned by u…
As TR had mentioned in one of his thread that my emotions control me and i dont know to handle or use them appropriately.the last video suggessted by jas was useful, it was little bit more easier to understand..
need to control the fear and resentment ????
July 29, 2014 at 2:02 am #62037RahelParticipantI had an argument with one of my colleagues. He blamed that i reported a matter about him to the higher official. I never complain or report about anyone. I controlled my anger but when is way of talking was rude, I shouted and hang up the call…
But later i thought for a while, i became angry and that is not going to do harm for him and neither good to me.after a couple of minutes I went to his seat and apologised for getting angry on him. that did bring a sense of relief for me.
But how to sense when we these emotions come and go.. After getting angry only i realize that i was angry.. how to know when i am getting angry
July 29, 2014 at 2:19 am #62039@Jasmine-3ParticipantCongratulations. You are becoming more aware. Today, you have bravely put your foot forward to take charge of your emotions and life. I am so sooooooo proud of you girl!!
Today, you became aware of anger after the episode and stopped to apologise. Close of chapter. Full stop.
Keep being aware and in a few weeks, you will hit the stop button before getting angry.
Jasmine
July 29, 2014 at 3:28 am #62040RahelParticipantAfter jas u suggested regarding the video which was lead by a lady in white.. and going through ur valuable feedbacks.. I felt that i should say sorry, or else it will remain in my heart and grow as a wound.. i also realized that he might be undergoing some personal issues or having difficulty in mingling with me thats y he misunderstood me… I dont know whether i am right or not..but i think that if we apologise it might help us to forget that particular incidennt..especially for people like me who are grown ups but still like a child who doesnt know to let go off or forgive themselves
after i get angry or emotional..i cling onto the sense of guilty..dont know why
i have to learn to track or sense before i get angry….
when i am doing a task and if i shift my attention to other task, i forget the previous one..so hard to recall..its happening for the past three year, sort of memory loss. i also realise that i am encountering this problem from the time i am in depression knowing that i have some psychological issuesi always (most of the day) try to go through all the threads advised to me from the beginning by Matt, TR, Jas, Moongal..as well i read threads of other participants also.. Thank u
July 29, 2014 at 3:44 am #62041@Jasmine-3ParticipantRahel, I hear you. Keep going with your great work π
I attach a link to the “going beyond series” by BK Shivani – lady in white. It is an awesome non-religious resource that you can tap into and watch one video a day to keep your positive energy levels up.
http://m.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL8BCGs3ul_7QyGrZXp0ndSxcfwaro_9zT
And remember, you do not have “psychological” problems unlike some others (trust me when I say this) – you just didnt get the right guidance in your life after going through all these traumas. With proper guidance, you will be flying high and there wont be any stopping you then π
July 29, 2014 at 4:07 am #62042RahelParticipantthanks for keeping the spirit up and boosting everyone over here..
Today during my work hours i visited a page wherein they mentioned about self journey therapy and bipolar disorder..
hence got confused whether i am having emotional problem or bipolar..?
when i went through the threads .. i realize that mine is the longest one with high number of replies in this forum…
When i go through other people’s blog, i realise that we all are connected in some or the other way, its just how we react or respond.
Its my humble request to lori, if she could mould all the case studies and replies into a journal, somewhere in the near future, which would be a guide to many … this would help people to think and stop getting their wounds deeper….
July 29, 2014 at 6:04 am #62048The RuminantParticipantGood job, Rahel, and thanks Jasmine for the valuable resources.
Judging by what you’ve told us, you’re not bipolar. A person with bipolar disorder goes through cycles of depression and mania. During the manic phase the person’s mood is very elevated and hyper and they do things like leave their job and spend all their money to buy a new car, etc.
No need to overthink everything. Just allow things to progress gradually as you do these small things for yourself and others.
July 29, 2014 at 7:06 am #62051RahelParticipantBut in my initial messages i did mention that sometimes i am happy, say lot of jokes,over talkative.. at sometimes i am sad, moody, depressed…. i always think i have mood swings… or else i am depressed from within
after coming from home, i was trying to meditate, closing my room..i knew that my mother would push the door and come in and i would get distracted….everything happened as i thought..i shouted at her with anger….and then getting depressed and sense of feeling guilty….why i always do so..when i could have avoided the situation by telling her not to disturb me…i dont know i get some kind of gratification and satisfaction by getting emotional-angry – depressed- hurting myself & others..why?
why i want people to think bad of me..
The guy with whom i had argument and to whom i said sorry…came to my desk at a later time..he wanted to talk to me, but i feel shy or maintaining eye contact..i kept myself engaged looking here and there and looking into files..i have this problem from childhood.. i used to look down and walk
July 29, 2014 at 7:35 pm #62169@Jasmine-3ParticipantHi Rahel
This is the exact problem with accessing information on net or from people who do not have specialist qualifications to make such a diagnosis. Can you take a chill pill, pls ?
You have been through a lot in your childhood (if the story that you have shared is correct) and you probably have heaps of unresolved emotional issues from them. I doubt you were counselled then and your current state is probably a reflection of that. This doesnt give you a reason to have Bipolar disorder.
If you want to know whether you have a “psychiatric” disorder then you should seek medical or pyschiatrist advice. You should not look up on net or google things. This way you get the right advice from the right people and your mind doesnt go on a goose chase because someone gave you a list of symptoms, which may or may not match your online story.
STOP JUDGING YOURSELF SO HARD and coming up with unnecessary labels. Get on with your journey step by step, my friend. You need to move forward.
Jasmine
July 30, 2014 at 1:26 am #62202RahelParticipantGood noon to all..
Jas the videos of BK Shivani is so simple to understand.. If we can remember her point and give a second thought then it would be of greater help, acc to me.
when i meditate, especially when i exhale the breathe,i feel pain in eyes and tightness at both the ends of forehead..does this happen to anyone else.
I always have heaviness in head even at normal times. But people say that they experience heaviness only during headache. Is this heaviness due to lack of meditation or peace
July 30, 2014 at 9:07 am #62224RahelParticipantwhenever i think of marriage or shifting from my home to someone else’s i feel depressed because i fear that i wont be able to adjust to the new environment or say what if i get depressed over there and get angry on them…what if i dont succeed a happy marriage life.what if because of me many people get hurt…. what if i am unable to love them unconditionally
what if my poor adjustmental nature pop over there.. iwont get the same freedom that i get at my own homehow to remove this fear, tension and anxiety
July 30, 2014 at 11:29 am #62229MattParticipantThe pressure behind your eyes is normal. Just notice it and the space around it, and move back to the number and breath. Keep going!
Its tough for you to just set down questions and act, isn’t it? You have great curiosity, its wonderful! You want to “know what it all means”. Fantastic!
The breath meditation will hopefully help you with that knot in your forehead. Its causing you all sorts of headaches! π Consider: its tough to see clearly when none of the pieces fit together. Right now, there’s no room for the pieces you do have to assemble into something peaceful! That knot is taking up all the space, driving more questions, more questions. Some you already know, some you’re answering yourself. But where’s Rahel? What do you actually want? Not “what am I supposed to do”, “what should I do”, but rather “what’s next?” Less brain, more breath, more body.
With warmth,
MattJuly 30, 2014 at 12:24 pm #62233RahelParticipanthi Matt
Whenever i try to exhale, my closed eyes start to roll and it pains severely
along with this the nerves at both of forehead also pains..
Sorry matt i know that i ask hell lot of question…i am been manufactured like this π
Unless i clarify my questions, i find it difficult to move ahead..i want to be thorough with everything.. i want to give answer and solution to my questions..so that they dont back again with another bundle of questionsJuly 30, 2014 at 6:05 pm #62252@Jasmine-3ParticipantThanks Matt.
Rahel @rahelabraham
It is often normal to get such heaviness or pain when you have recently started meditation practice esp the breath meditation just like how the Ruminant explained. You are focussing and learning a new skill. It takes an effort. Perhaps, you can also slow the breathing down rather than inhaling or exhaling too forcefully.
Yes, I have accepted that you have a lot of questions and want to learn π I am sure someone or other will try to answer your questions as they find it. Please feel free to start a new thread as this thread is getting a little too long.
I have listened to the Shivani videos more than a dozen times. You are right about needing to hear it and giving it a second thought. I used to practice her message for a week or so before watching the next video. It has been life changing experience. Have patience.
You can also try this meditation, which doesnt require focus or breathing effort but still does the work subtly.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ar9vsmFhJU
Best wishes
August 2, 2014 at 1:47 am #62442RahelParticipantHi.. Jas
Thanks for your patience..
for the past few days I was behaving normal..
But now again i am going to the previous position.. Getting angry and emotional knowingly just to seek peoples attention…
I have heaviness in head from the very childhood..
in the initial days when i tried the breathing, it was normal and peacefulNow when i do meditate, thousands of thoughts passby and side by side count is also going on..how come. ?
when i try to inculcate the positive thoughts said by BK shivani..for few days i am in positive state of mind..but after one or two days i forget it.. doesnt it happen to anyone else -
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