I really envy your position, I’m 25 soon and never been in a relationship or had sex and that’s all I can think about at the moment. Before now it didn’t really bother me at all, and now I’m suddenly doing a lot of things to try and get out of this rut.

I get the feeling that you’re more or less okay with your current situation and I think that is all that matters, if you’re happy then there’s no rush, when you feel like going out and dating again all your current hobbies and work will help you. It’s perfectly alright to not need a massive social life if you don’t feel like it but if you think you might start wanting that again in the future then maybe start slowly moving in that direction by going out every now and then just to get things rolling. I can tell you from what I’m going through now that this is what I should have been doing instead of waiting until I became desperate. Just do whatever you can now no matter how small so that you don’t feel like you have to rush things later.

• This reply was modified 11 years ago by memm.

Oh my goodness babylaughter !!

You are 30, you are not ”ageing” at all – you are soooo young. When I saw the title, I expected to see the age 50 or 60 , which in my eyes is also still young .

Oh, you have so much life ahead, I am 36 and I am too getting a bit scared about doing things I would like to do, but you have so much time to do and experience life and all the great things in it, so stop thinking of time as much.

Your friends are doing their thing, but that does not mean all is rosy in their garden either ! We all have our own problems, and just because we are sold the idea of what we ”should have” does not mean it is a law. It is seen as the ideal, and you start to feel as if you should be going at their pace. Stop ! You are doing the things that you enjoy – and you know our own mind. If you like you could join some societies / groups that are also into those things – for example, meditation groups, cookery classes, or group fitness – what ever you like, and you could meet new friends when you feel ready. It sounds like you are satisfied in yourself, but like me, you are comparing yourself to others – which i was once told is the ”quickest path to misery ”

I have come to the conclusion that there is no ”right” way to do things – only your own path.

I sometimes get side lined by my married friends too – they don’t invite me to kids parties / couples dinners, / coffee with any kids etc, because they think i would be bored or miffed – which is not true ! I just got a txt message from my friend tonight saying ”im having a get together tomorrow, a kids tea party, but if it is too much like work, its ok no pressure ” ( i teach infants, and I love my job ) I felt like saying : ”I love my job, and just because my journey has not been the same of yours, and I have not had kids yet, does not mean I dont want to be part of your life., or be around kids !! ” But I sent a friendly message back, because its not worth it. To me that is their issue – they dont seem to get that not everybody does the same thing at the same time, and I am thinking if it comes up in conversation, I might address it at some point. I would like kids but I haven’t been in a position to do so. Maybe I will be one day, but maybe I won’t – and I’m making sure I’m happy inside no matter what, as I want to feel happy in myself.

I meditate, and am self aware enough to realise that I am not here solely to marry and procreate, as much as I would like that to be part of my plan. Sometimes we have to let go and let it be. We are here to be happy, to love others, to be fulfilled, and to connect with others in our own way in our own time.

All will be well for you, and please be good to yourself, and continue to do the things that you love! As we say in Ireland – you are only a ”spring chicken” !!

Barbs xx.

Babylaughter, I am in the same position as you! I’m 32 and totally fine with being single right now and don’t have any ambition to date right now. I have dated plenty over the years and had some serious relationships. But right now, I just prefer to read, cook, and go hiking with my dogs. I think what I’m struggling with is whether I’m okay with this long term. We don’t know what our future holds for us. I might meet someone great that is a good fit with me. Or, I might not. And I’d like to get to a place where I’m okay if I never meet someone that I want to marry. If I never meet that person, am I okay with that? Not entirely, but I think it’s partially (mostly?) societal pressure or the fear that something is “wrong” with me if I don’t want or strive for what everyone else does. Logically, I know that is silly but denying that worry doesn’t make it disappear either.

And I think I go through phases — sometimes I like dating and sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I have lots of friends and sometimes I’m totally flying solo. Right now, I’m definitely in a solo phase. But maybe 6 months or a year from now that will change. I’m also just trying to live in a way that I am content with. If I stop being content with my life, I’ll make some big changes.

I don’t have any answers for you. Just letting you know that you’re not the only one. 🙂

When I was a little girl, I would never have imagined myself to still be single at 29. Today, I am 29 and still single, yet I look back to the accomplishments I’ve made throughout my twenties and I can honestly say that I’m extremely proud of myself. The hard work I’ve devoted to bettering myself in my twenties got me to where I am today–doctorate degree, a high profile job, and financial security. Most of my friends are still single (I live in San Francisco) so perhaps this hasn’t really hit home as much since in this area people tend me marry much later in life. 30 is still young, and you have the rest of your life to fall in love and you still have a good 15 years get knocked up and start a family. 🙂

I’ll share a story with you. I remember when I was 22 starting out at my first job after college. I met a friend named Brooke, she was 33 at that time. Brooke had been seriously dating a guy for about 4 years at this point and was hoping he would pop the question any day. One night, while a group of us girls were out, we ran into Brooke’s boyfriend with another girl! Brooke was devastated and she had really thought that her life was over at this point. This was a guy she dated for 4 years, she even helped support him while he was finishing up law school. Her world had fallen apart and I was there to witness it all. Fast forward 7 years, Brooke just got married in 2012 and also welcomed her first healthy baby boy the same year, at the young age of 40. My point in sharing this story is that sometimes things seem really hopeless and you start thinking that perhaps falling in love or having a family will never happen for you.. But it’s important to always have faith and believe that things will always work out. Look back at your life, has there really been a time when things really didn’t work out? I would anticipate that the answer to that question is no since you’re still alive and healthy to this day.

Enjoy your 30’s! Everyone I’ve asked have always told me that that’s the best decade of their life. <3

LOL I’ve been single for close to a year now, and my closest friends are either married, getting married or in relationships. I’m 25 and people around make me feel like I’m already an old maid. But I dont let it get to me. I always think I love my life exactly the way it is. I wouldnt change anything about it. Even if I have to stay single or decide to remain single, I will make it a good life. Its all in the way you look at it 🙂