I have often wondered when someone hopes that karma evens the score so that if a person that hurt us is hurt in return isn’t creating bad karma for that person. Such thoughts certainly impact a persons present experiences in a negative way so I guess the answer could be that it does.

My understanding of Karma is that it’s not a tool of justice or revenge which are manmade concepts as they don’t exist in nature. Personally I stay away from invoking karma or looking to karma for solace.

I think the purpose of karma is for our becoming and awaking not punishment or reward.

The car/self goes were the eyes/consciousness goes. Our karmic debit determines what we are capable of seeing and experiencing. Karma is a filter through which we experience life, it might limit what we get to experience while overcoming it allows us to expand what we get to experience.

The task is to overcome karma debit in order to become the best version of ourselves and “see” more clearly.

Relationships are a crucible of becoming and it is often through the pain we experience as they dissolve that we discover ourselves. It is a bitter sweet truth. There are those that get to discover these truths about themselves while keeping a relationship strong while for others karma/growth/becoming/life requires the pain of separation to push the individual.

For all things there is a time. Today your thoughts keep going to what your ex was is thinking and experiencing, wanting him to hurt as much as you hurt. Do not judge these thoughts, they just are. When it is time redirect the thoughts back to the present and to who you are who you want to become. How can you take what you learned about yourself in the direction of positive growth? When it is time, forgiveness. Not forgetting, forgiveness does not make what happened ok, nor does it require that we let the person that hurt us back into our lives. Forgiveness creates space where we can let go of thoughts like revenge and the hold that the experience might have on the present moment and so move forward with our lives as we hope them to be.

I very much recommend the following book.
Art of Forgiving: When You Need to Forgive and Don’t Know How by Lewis B. Smedes

A problem you face is that you can only imagine what you think the impact your ex_husband actions are having on him. Right now you’re telling yourself the story that his actions have had no consequences however that is not something you cannot know as consequences tend to show up unexpected ways.

We can become the stories we tell so be careful not to fall into a story of bitterness. The car goes where the eyes go so a when you notice yourself thinking about what your ex may or may not be experiencing, acknowledge it and set your gaze onto where you want to go.
It is a practice so no labeling self judgments.

If your ex’s does not deal with his karma/filters he will inevitable repeat the same experiences over and over again perhaps believing that a new relationship will fix things without him have to make any meaningful changes.

It is true that some people are blessed/cursed with no thought for self-reflection which may be the path your ex is on but I suspect is not the path that you are on. Self realization is a difficult process. I believe that consciousness is a result of a confrontation with the problem of opposites, our expectations of what should be good, what should be bad, what is fair…

In a way you are in this moment experience the tensions between fairness and injustice perhaps asking yourself the question (if unconsciously) what is relationship what does love have to do with it, what is love, what is my relationship to relationship and to love… all which can lead you to greater self-understanding and individuation. If your ex does not experience this tension he is unlikely to grow and that you might say might be labeled as a negative consequence if you believe growth is important. (Karma/life demands growth)

With regards to karma and being reborn because of our intentional bad actions
Labels like bad and good in Buddhism tend to disappear so I’m pretty sure karma is not about our concept of punishment or justice.
As for believing in reincarnation… I have no clue… however I do know that each breath we take is a death and rebirth, life living off of life, each moment a birth, death and resurrection two which we get to respond to with a yes or no. Yes to life as it is, or no. My own experience is that saying no only ends in more suffering. (the trick is saying yes to live as it is while still engaging in life and living your truths as you know them to be in the moment – not easy)

Your experience happened, it hurts, let it hurt, but also let it connect you to your authentic self.
I am sorry to say that in my experience time does not heal, forgiveness does not forget, forgiveness leans to say yes to the experience, to life, and then just maybe if you work at it to your authentic self to which your ex was a door to pass through

• This reply was modified 8 years ago by Peter.