Dear Adam:

Sorry to read you are drinking heavily at nights. I suggested to you last to learn from your experience and still suggesting that you do: it is from the learning of past that we can make the future better (and use our time wisely in the present). Nothing magical about 2016, about that number. Make the magic NOW: learn now, something, a little bit today!

The information is in your emotions.

anita

Hi Adam,

You said you wanted a “kick in the a__.” What would it take for you to do that for yourself? There’s no need to wait for the year to end. Time is just an invention anyway. There’s no time like the present. Why drag out your anguish? It sounds like you really want to feel better, so take the steps you need to take.

It might be helpful to seek some professional counseling (individual or group) if you are depressed. That can be very helpful, whereas taking depressants (like alcohol) only makes things worse.

Would it help to have a “con” on your list for this woman? How about that she ran to another man when things got tough in your relationship? That is neither trusting nor trustworthy behavior.

I feel for your situation–don’t mean to sound blunt–love is a tough emotion to sort out. I once wasted 5 years of my life on someone who couldn’t make a commitment to me. He broke my heart many times but I kept feeling like I loved him and I took him back every time he showed up at my door. I pined for him in the meantime. What a shame–a waste of time and such agony!

I finally realized I was in love with a guy I hadn’t seen for 5 years. He changed his behavior toward me, but I failed to recognize or admit it because I was stuck on the intensity of the love I had felt for him that was established in the beginning.

Once I realized he wasn’t who he had pretended to be in the beginning, it made it easier for me to move on.

It may sound trite but it’s true, my life is so much better now that I left him behind. I had no idea things could be this good.

I do wish you well. Why not give yourself the kick you need so you can start the new year with a good outlook having conquered (or at least started to work on) your depression? You deserve to be happy. Don’t beat yourself up. Do some juicing and be good to your body, too, while you’re working on this instead of burdening it. It will help turn your depression around!

Take care! Jan