He had money in the beginning and a successful business. He paid for most things and I paid for my personal stuff like clothes, and items like furniture and household stuff I wanted. I also had new cars and paid my payments and insurances on that. At the time, he was about 60% and I was 40% of the total income. I decided to get married, as I had been with him for 3 years and married at 26 years of age. That was 6 years after the divorce from R-1. I had many boyfriends over the years and was with him exclusively for the last 3 years. Everyone around me was married and I said it was time. What was I waiting for? So, I did, and paid for my own wedding. As my mother ( remember her?) said, ” You pick from the same cesspool, don’t you?” Remember that R-1 and R-2 had been friends before my first marriage. They lived in same town across the bridge from my town, so that was her assessment. I got married because I felt there was no future prospects and that was the best I could do. He was exciting and had so many friends and places to go, that I could just go along and have the disco party life I wanted then. He was more lighthearted and still whined, but much less and I used to laugh it off. He didn’t have much to whine about, as money and time and entertainment were never an issue. He was like a pal and fellow adventurer.
Once the money woes, hit, he became sour, cynical and depressed. He sat on the couch for 1 1/2 years and I took over all expenses. I thought it would be temporary, but it appears he is like Eeyore the donkey ( Winnie the Pooh). Everything wrong, everything bad, whine, whine, for years. I used to laugh about it, but it eventually wore me down. That was about 15 years ago since we moved to another state. No more friends or family, just him, me and kid……I was treading water and going under at times. When I used to suggest he was so negative and it was hard, he would just say that is the way he is.
Now, after the discovery of the R-1 connection, he doesn’t say that anymore. But I don’t complain anymore, as I think that is his personality and any fixes are temporary and too late in my eyes…….It only took about 5 months for him to revert to his old ways. Once he thought the threat of someone else was behind. him. That was about 20 months ago when the R-1 connection was discovered. I stated it was just a text and calling fling as an old flirtation and nothing more. I stated I wasnt in contact anymore. He believed it and corrected himself for the 5 months. And then back to his usual negativity.