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Breaking Up-Do I hold on or let go

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  • July 11, 2016 at 1:19 am #109372
    Hang Do
    Participant

    i am sorry for not finishing reading the whole of your post because i just need to stop by the saying :”Financially, I made more money so I was the one always paying the bills and handling the everyday important things in our lives, while he just blew his minimal money that he made every week” then i can know partly how this man is. I am sorry for saying this but i think he had used you. you need to be thankful because now he cannot use you and you will never be hurt anymore.
    there were so many guys breaking up with me, i was deeply hurt but now i am really appreciated for that. i thought if i had continued being with them, how my life was now? and how could i met good men and dated them. I always believe and remember Buddha’s saying:” To give up is to be happy”. ( I just translate from Vietnamese into English so hope you understand what i mean)

    BE STRONG, BE HAPPY

    July 11, 2016 at 7:53 am #109385
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear whyldmagnolia:

    The thought of him having sexual intercourse with other women (condoms around, texting- the evidence) while letting you do only that one thing for him, sexually, a one way pleasing of him is sickening to me. How humiliating. If I understood this one part of your relationship correctly, how can you stand it?

    It is clear to me that your relationship with him as a boyfriend needs to end, completely. Whether he should have contact with your two girls- depending on the nature of his relationship with them- if it has been beneficial to the girls and if it can continue without a relationship with you (other than accommodating visitations with the girls).

    Please do post again.

    anita

    July 12, 2016 at 6:18 am #109466
    CLB
    Participant

    Hello
    Am I wrong for wanting some sort of Karma to come back and kick him in the butt- Yes.

    Should I try to remain friends for the relationship he has with my kids? YES and No. You do NOT need to be friends with this man, but you need to do your best to maintain a cordial relationship.

    I would ask you one thing: What is it you believe about yourself that makes his treatment of you and his behavior towards you acceptable? The issue is NOT about him and what he does or doesn’t do. People come into our lives to teach us a lesson. What is it you have learned about yourself by being with this man? Based on your post I would be lead to believe you do not respect yourself, value yourself of love yourself.

    I think you know what you need to do, but maybe you aren’t ready to do it? Look, I get it…I have been there before. In all of my relationships I did 90% and they did 10%, but that’s on ME. I chose them. I allowed it.

    Take some time and space and yes…focus on yourself. But, to change you have to be ready and really want it and believe you deserve better. Until then you will keep trying to go back to him. I wish you all the best. I know how awful it is to be in your situation. Check out my blog …which was written for issues like this. http://www.acinglife.com
    Carrie

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