Home→Forums→Relationships→Break up after massive tantrums, because my Ex cheated on me with my best friend
- This topic has 39 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 3 years, 1 month ago by
Anonymous.
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June 2, 2016 at 8:19 pm #106339
ChauParticipantHi Anita
Thanks a lot
I think what you said gave me a sense of relief. I have been tormented by both the betrayal, the accusation that was directed to me, and i took them all because i saw my ex-gf crying like hell and was in misery. I have been thinking ‘did i cause this? did I really treat her that bad?” normally I know if i did nth wrong, i wouldn’t feel guilty, but this is someone I care a lot, and so i took extra responsibilities for it. It’s my achilles heel, when i care about someone, when i am in love i tend to get very lost.
Thanks for making this so clear to me. It’s a very good lesson for me.Chau
June 2, 2016 at 10:30 pm #106341ChauParticipantDear Anita
Thanks.
I feel a sense of relief after hearing your words.
I guess I tend to take up other people’s sadness or suffering, especially when I was in love. and tend to get very lostI shall review it from time to time. I am feeling I am coming to terms with it 🙂
Thanks again Anita
ChauJune 9, 2016 at 11:54 pm #106840ChauParticipantHi all!
I have been trying to work on myself to recover this week.
Trying to cry whenever needed, and to understand the guilt and to let go of it.
I have ups and downs though, and yesterday I missed her so much that I went to her home downstairs, seeing she hasn’t slept yet and when she was fixing the curtain, i was so afraid that she would see me.
Supposedly I have a volunteer outing that I am going with her tomorrow , I am in between wanting to go and not wanting to go.
I have been checking her and my fd’s online status(it’s really silly seriously) on whatsapp and I have a gist that my friendd and her were not together(stupid assumption too)
I don’t understand why after so many things happened, I am not angry at her and still want her to be by my side.
Of course every one asked me to stay away from her, but after last night, I miss her more than anything, it seems that I have done something silly to hinder my own progress.
I have been trying to make myself better first before interacting with her. But It’s not there yet apparently, and it seems I am not ready for it.
Advice?
ThanksClara
June 10, 2016 at 10:24 am #106860
AnonymousGuestDear Clara:
I am sick and will be back to the computer to read your above post to me in the next few days. Take care!
anita
June 10, 2016 at 4:14 pm #106876AnonymousGuestDear Clara:
You miss her, you miss having a girlfriend, missing that loving/ loving like exchanges. That is only natural and someday soon enough you will have it, only better, with someone you get to know as trustworthy, a woman who will not blame you but take responsibility for her own feelings and actions.
anita
June 10, 2016 at 6:50 pm #106897ChauParticipantHi Anita!
Good to hear from you again.
How are you? Hope you can recover ASAP.
May be I am just lonely at this stage and just finding a projection for my feelings, may be necessarily be her anyways.
Anyways in the end I decided not to join any event that I may see her at this moment, guess it’s best for my recovery.
Take good care!Chau
June 10, 2016 at 7:08 pm #106899AnonymousGuestDear Chau:
I am feeling better sooner than I expected and am glad to be able to post again. I am also looking forward to a good night sleep after not sleeping much.
Yes, it sounded to me that you were simply lonely, and that is understandable. We humans need love, born to… love and be loved.So it will happen and I will be glad to read a post from you soon enough about a new love! No rush, but it will be nice.
anita
November 12, 2021 at 5:03 pm #388526
DadioParticipantBeing told that reacting normally to the situation is abuse and convincing this man that he has tendencies or problems is gaslighting. Cheating on someone is abusive. Period. Yelling in response to that is normal. It’s not abusive. It is natural and perfectly normal inrespinse to someone trying to tell you that it’s your fault. Anyone and I mean ANYONE who says that cheating is your fault is encouraging you to accept abuse. Don’t ever, ever stop improving but don’t take this nonsense because you know that this tiny “buttfuck” is way off base. You are normal. Your cheating ex is a problem
November 18, 2021 at 11:06 am #388735
annaParticipantNovember 18, 2021 at 11:48 am #388793AnonymousGuestDear anna:
If I understand correctly, you are in a long distance relationship (LDR) with your husband in the last three years. Can you share more details, such as when did you visit with your husband in-person last time? What are your plans (for you to move to where he lives.. or for him to return to where you live)? And when you say that you caught him cheating: what kind of cheating and how did you catch him, being that the two of you are in a LDR?
anita
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Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 
We are in a long distance relationship since 3 years. Yesterday I catch my husband cheating on me. And he thinks that its okay to cheat coz nobody is perfect. What should I do?