Basically, I was getting my life together. I put everything aside (school, hobbies, everything) to get my life together. I was very unhappy. I was a past straight-A-student who did ANYTHING to get an A in the class, but I am a senior in high school now and have put school second on my priority list as I need to focus on my mental health.  I used to be captain of a club, was on speech and debate, did community service every tuesday, wednesday, and friday. I stopped doing all that so I could focus on my mental health. First I started with my boyfriend. I wanted to make our relationship good and healthy. Our relationship was never good but I LOVED HIM. We always fought, were on and off, horrible. I promised to dedicate my senior year of high school to fixing our relationship because I knew if we had a good relationship, we would both be more happy (making myself a happier person overall). At first I simply just…. paid more attention to him, dedicated more of my time to him, fought for him at any moment possible. This lasted for 3 months. Before our fights got worse and worse. So then I decided… I would try one last thing before I left. I started to… try to put him in his place. I told him straight up “hey I am not going to have this horrible, unhealthy relationship in 2018. I’m sorry, I was there for you but I can’t continue. The only way I’d stay is if you’d change but you never changed.” This is when he begged me and I took him back and HE CHANGED. He changed a little. He became more attentive to my feelings, he started LISTENING to me, he began to give me what I wanted. We fought a little here and there but we were going up. Then today…. it all went down. He saw something in my phone. I don’t really know how to explain what he saw. Basically if you have an instagram you may have a finsta. everyone in my grade has a finsta and its just a big fun thing. On finsta, somebody posted a picture saying “like this picture and I will give you a name. then you have to comment how drunk you’d have to be to hookup with them” and I liked it. I didn’t think it was a big deal as people with boyfriends/girlfriends were liking it as well. I even asked my friends… I was like “do you think its weird that people with boyfriends/girlfriends are liking the picture even though it has to do with hooking up with somebody?” and my friends were like “nah its theoretical”

Long story short, he saw it and flipped. He told me he’s done. He isn’t the nicest guy. If a nice guy saw that and had a problem, maybe they’d express dislike and we’d work it out. Maybe if it was that bad, we’d break up civilly. But my boyfriend straight up told me “if you are going to do this, then I am going to hook up with girls” and that “we are over” and “its done” and everything. I started crying because I was extremely sad. Like seriously F my life. All I want was for this guy to love me and be happy with me. I was hysterical. This happened around 1 pm, its almost 8 pm where I live and I am still crying. Why? I am so stupid. I should have known it wasn’t going to work out! I stuck around after every time he treated me bad and now I do something, I make a mistake and its over for me. Now I am in a position where I am being broken up with. At least, before I had the option to take him back but now I am just broken up with. Don’t get me wrong, this has happened before in our relationship. In the past, I would fight so hard for him to forgive me now I do not have the energy. So I guess… the relationship is actually over now and there is nothing more I can do. But it HURTS so bad. Like, its the middle of JANUARY. January is by far one of the worst months. I am always depressed in January I absolutely hate January. I don’t even know what I am saying anymore but wow my life sucks.

• This topic was modified 6 years, 10 months ago by Katie.