Sorry, me again!

I agree +anita but he still thinks its about weed. And if its not about weed, its about other issues like ex girlfriends, family..etc when really I see it as being about the way he reacts and deals with things I say.

We broke up and he flys down the country to attend a wedding on his own. He then is in so much pain he calls me and says he’s booked a flight for me last minute and I have to be there. When I get there I feel a bit anxious, not sure but again he’s so romantic and generous..trying to show us a good night and telling me how much he loves me and cares until he misunderstands another thing I say/do later in the night and gets angry again..turns into the biggest argument. All of yesterday he then says we can’t break up and he understands the problems, will do ANYTHING to change..therapy, you name it. I said ok we will see but I might just need some time. We come back home on a nice ending..

Last night I woke up at 2:30am to nightmares and fell into a massive panic attacks whilst having the most painful stomach ache (I beleive this is a sign of fear mind body spirit are connected) which led me to vomiting for 5 hours. I’m really sick today in bed and all he has been doing is rehashing why we have been fighting from his OLD perspective of me attacking or “controlling him” and again..his views on weed. I thought yesterday he said he understood the root cause but today he’s back to the same story 🙁

What from I’ve told you, am I going crazy? Or do you think this man actually has some big issues which I can’t fix anymore? I feel like im on a rollarcoaster..I love him so much and he says we will get therapy and change but why would I wake up at 2am and be horribly ill?
I know this is not healthy but I am so attached now in every way I don’t know whether to give us one last chance or just give up to protect myself.

Are we in a toxic relationship?? 🙁