Home→Forums→Emotional Mastery→Blind Anger?
- This topic has 2 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 11 years, 6 months ago by
Amy.
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October 14, 2013 at 7:46 pm #43781
Oscar
ParticipantWhen I was younger, I did a lot of that, I was trained to react like a gladiator to challenges, after all, I was a man and needed to be prepared, I fought a lot, sometimes it made me feel proud, because I was lucky and nothing happened to me, but I alienated people, I felt scared and wanted to fix it, so I started to see what I could do. I don’t plan to give you advice, but I can tell you what happened to me.
1. I started to repeat myself there was nothing wrong with feeling angry, but I didn’t want to act based on that feeling and hurt people, specially the people I love.
2. I reinforced myself stem with different exercises, you need to understand there is absolutely nothing wrong with you, just skills you need to master, all people feels angry, they just know how to shut it off, it takes practice, but you are not bad, just in a learning process
3. I developed some techniques to release steam and avoid hurting people, if I get angry, I go for a run, or I punch a pillow or a punching bag, or I do yoga, you get the idea.I hope the anger goes aways.
October 15, 2013 at 12:58 am #43808Amy
ParticipantAnger doesn’t come from nowhere. You need to ask yourself some questions about the resons you are angry. Then you can start dealing with the issues that got you there in the first place. Being able to talk through your anger with a therapist will be hugely valuable to you. You have to know that the things that you went through as a child were not your fault or in your control. Your anger is probably justified, but with therapy you can learn how to let it go. After all holding on to anger will only hurt you, not the person you are angry at,
I grew up in a very invalidating/neglectful environment. So much so that i developed borderline personality disorder. I was so angry i turned to self harm. I manipulated and hurt people without knowing what i was doing. I couldn’t let go of anything, especially my anger. It hurt too much, i felt like if i let it go, i would have nothing. And what was nothing like? I was so afraid to change because i was in such pain. I felt like my life experiences were so different to that of everyone else around me that i had become something different. I could see people and life in a way no one else could. It made me feel like i had some kind of special ability. In reality i was just a very hurt and angry person who was just hurt and angry. I wasn’t special in any way. I had just been through things most people don’t.
I have learned through therapy that i don’t have to let anger control who i am, i can live a positive, peaceful life if i want to. And i do.I wouldn’t necessarily suggest medication to you. I have been on a tonne myself, and have found therapy is the best answer and then now i am following that up by living by the buddhist teachings. Medication only masks the problem, it doesn’t get to the root of it. Like i said at the start, you are angry for a reason and once you start to work through it, it lessens and then eventually goes away. I really hope you will seek out a therapist, my best advice would be for you to see a psychotherapist, someone who specialises in CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy).
There isn’t anything fundamentally wrong with you, it is your thought patterns that are distorted is all. And it really isn’t impossible to change those. I hope you will choose to seek help and make your life the best it can be.
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