Dear magic:

To understand better, I ask: when you threatened to kill him in the text: ““next time if i know that you’re active but didnt text me i will kill you”- what did you mean by it? What emotions led you to threaten to kill him and how did you want him to respond to your threat?

anita

Dear magic:

I understand that you are upset, feeling badly. You wish he didn’t block you, or that he unblocks you. Unfortunately for you, you have no control over his blocking you. What is it then that you do have control over?

One thing you can control is your learning experience. Learning from your life experience is something you can choose to do. You thought that it was okay to threaten to kill a person, and that it was okay to threaten to do so because a person didn’t text you when you wanted him to. You thought it was a matter of no big deal. Now you learned that for some people it is a big deal.

He took offense to your threat, reads to me, not necessarily for the threat itself but for the fact that his friends witnessed it. Meaning, his male friends saw that a woman is threatening him. He felt embarrassed, ashamed to be seen as a … weak man, one that allows a woman to threaten him with physical harm. So he responded by calling you names and blocking you.

It is better that you do not fight with people, not unless they are threatening you with physical harm. It is better that you don’t threaten to kill people, unless they are threatening to kill you first. Protect yourself when in physical danger; do not pose a physical danger to others in person or threaten them with physical harm online.

Calm yourself best you can, is my advice. Learn from the experience and correct your future behavior.

anita

Dear magic:

It is way better to prevent problems than to cause problems and then try to solve them. If you didn’t threaten him (or fight previously), you wouldn’t have this problem. Next time, think before you text or talk or do. Consider the consequences of what you are about to communicate.

It is okay to feel angry, to feel whatever it is that we feel. What we feel is not a matter of choice. What we text, say and do is subject to choosing. Be wiser.

At this point, best you can do is calm down, accept with as much calm as you can, what happened. He is not in the wrong for blocking you. He did the right thing. I would have blocked you too and never meet you in person again, if you threatened to kill me.

Accept what you did and how he responded.

If he unblocked you, if you were still communicating, you would still be living where you are living, having the life you have and he would still be having his life. A marriage, you indicated, was very unlikely. Nothing much would be different if he unblocked you. Focus on your life, how to make it better.

anita