I don’t believe in luck, destiny, or fate, and my jury is still out on karma.

Personally, I think they’re dead end roads that don’t lead anywhere or if anything, it’s a slippery slope towards complacency and superstition – if what befalls you is predestined, what’s the point of taking action if the outcome has already been defined or you could affect the outcome by being born on the right date, walking around with rabbits’ feet, knocking on wood, throwing coins in fountains, or salt over your shoulder.

In essence, I don’t believe things happen for a reason, they just happen. Furthermore, to question why is actually pointless. Here’s a story that illustrates this point really well:

“It’s just as if a man were wounded with an arrow thickly smeared with poison. His friends & companions, kinsmen & relatives would provide him with a surgeon, and the man would say, ‘I won’t have this arrow removed until I know whether the man who wounded me was a noble warrior, a priest, a merchant, or a worker.’ He would say, ‘I won’t have this arrow removed until I know the given name & clan name of the man who wounded me… until I know whether he was tall, medium, or short… until I know whether he was dark, ruddy-brown, or golden-colored… until I know his home village, town, or city… until I know whether the bow with which I was wounded was a long bow or a crossbow… until I know whether the bowstring with which I was wounded was fiber, bamboo threads, sinew, hemp, or bark… until I know whether the shaft with which I was wounded was wild or cultivated… until I know whether the feathers of the shaft with which I was wounded were those of a vulture, a stork, a hawk, a peacock, or another bird… until I know whether the shaft with which I was wounded was bound with the sinew of an ox, a water buffalo, a langur, or a monkey.’ He would say, ‘I won’t have this arrow removed until I know whether the shaft with which I was wounded was that of a common arrow, a curved arrow, a barbed, a calf-toothed, or an oleander arrow.’ The man would die and those things would still remain unknown to him.” – Cula-Malunkyovada Sutta

I agree with Marilyn wholeheartedly – focus your energy elsewhere. Firstly, work on actively changing your perception of things – your mind is a lot more malleable than you think and you can experience stress, anxiety, and calamities with a lot more resiliency provided that you have the proper training (i.e. meditation) Secondly, direct your energy towards taking action. If someone smashed your car window, then all you can do is fix it. Chances are, it’s going to get smashed again and again and again. If it’s not your car window, then it’s your home window or maybe a glass or a plate. Even your heart will get smashed over and over and over again. To try to think or hope for otherwise is futile.

This is not meant to put you or anyone on a downer, but there’s a lot of strength building and growth in accepting that the cycle of up and down is never ending. Whether or not calamities will happen or when they will happen or with what magnitude is not within our control, how we choose to experience these cycles is.

Hello Jeff, sorry to hear your bad news.

You can not allow yourself to thing that things are happening because of bad luck or it will bring you down.
Try not to dwell on your past, learn what you can and keep going strong and remember to smile.
i personally have had some bad times too and my friend told me that as a result i wouldnt allow happiness into myself because i didnt feel any point in it because bad things kept happening!
so she bought me this book, and i think maybe you should try it.
‘the secret – by rhonda byrne, is a clever little book which is all about allowing yourself to be happier and enjoy simple things in life.
and i read this book every day because it keeps me happy, it keeps me thinking that good things can happen if i work hard for them.
Dont let your past control your future and your now.

Keep postive, Smile, love yourself do things in life that make you happy.
those you have lost, would want you happy.
If you learn to focus on yourself and your own happiness then more love and happiness can come into your life.
thing about the things that you want, and things that can make you happier.
Better food, sports, spending time with family, friends
the more you think about your own happiness better things can happen.

hope this helps,
always here if you need someone to help or listen

em

JAC,

Some things which are true are not helpful in the moment. For instance, perhaps with your friend it is unhelpful to say “you’re fat and this is a wake up to care for yourself”. Rather, as loving friends who can see into the situation more discerningly, we can help them uncover the steps of the path and the motivation to walk it.

With warmth,
Matt