Do not ever speak to him again.

Go to the wedding.

Reason not to speak to him again: obvious. He is bad news, both in terms of drug use and in terms of cheating in the worst possible way (with your daughter? geez!).

Reason to attend her wedding: it’s your daughter’s wedding. It seems like your lives are pretty intertwined, with shared friends and activities. I understand you feel hurt at being betrayed again and it sucks that she’s not had the decency yet to apologise, but she will. And you will probably let her back into your life again, and by then she’ll be married, and it’ll be weird that you weren’t at the wedding. Maybe this guy she’s marrying is the real deal, and she’ll be with him for the rest of your life. Think of her wedding photos displayed in her home, and every time you see it you’ll remember you weren’t there, and why you weren’t there. This will seem like a messy nightmare in two year’s time.

Thank the universe for showing you that this guy really is not the right guy and accept that your daughter had to play her role in that. Express your pain to her, before the wedding, and go to the wedding.

Hi Molo,

Oh. My. God. I feel awful for you. Sorry you have to go through this.

From what I gather, you’ve decided not to go to the wedding, but maybe you feel guilty about that decision?

Hell, at this point, I wouldn’t want to go either, especially since your daughter hasn’t expressed any apologies. But that’s not to say she won’t. Do you think she will? Do you think she gets how much this has hurt you? I feel that’s probably why you don’t want to go to the wedding, because she hurt you so much, and to show her that. I don’t blame you.

But perhaps as time goes on, your emotions about your daughter’s role in this will change, and that you’ll she never meant to hurt you and that it was a terrible mistake, which I gather from what you’ve written, you feel like it was. So for now, I say accept how hurt and betrayed you feel. Don’t rush into making any decisions. The wedding isn’t tomorrow, and thank god. That gives you some time to go through it.

Good luck.

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