I try not to do these sort of things because I don’t want to make my boyfriend seem like he’s the only bad guy here but I need outside love and support from my fellow Tiny Buddha pals.

My boyfriend and I have pretty much destroyed the beautiful relationship we had together. With different jobs we were both unhappy with what it did to our personalities, different schedules and bickering I would definitely say we aren’t in a good place. What I am trying to do now is two things 1. Look at the relationship from an outside perspective and 2. Find a solution that can rest peacefully in my heart. I am a young twenty something and we will call him R is my best friend and boyfriend for two years, lately it has been hard for me to connect with that, consistently feeling like I need to go out while he likes staying in. All of that is fine but we used to be attached at the hip like all couples are at first.

What gets me is the connection between us when you know someone is special. You know their moods you know their feelings you get where they are at. At the beginning of the relationship I was pretty dependent, he had known this and pushed me to find my independence and happiness, he was good for me, pushed me in good ways some ways I didn’t even know I needed. We explored he introduced me to the outdoors and finding peace in myself instead of looking for others for comfort. I definitely mastered those. As time goes on of course the romance fades and we still got along fantastically.

He got a job that seemed to not give him enough credit and I agreed he never seemed happy with a tedious work  schedule and mine as well not fixing I think we have forgotten what it is like to spend quality time together. He recently quit this job, but my schedule is pretty random as well, it has become habit that we Don’t get full days together and I spend some of my days after work with girlfriends and we only talk at night.

Am I also to blame for part of that slipping and fading?

The viscous cycle of bickering begins

He or I says something I get irritated with (something along the lines of me feeling like I’m not doing enough or whatever)

then there is the awful bickering without solution

I feel like I ask the same few questions with no answer , maybe not talk for a day or two then all of a sudden

what are you up to? you are so pretty. I feel unjustified in that but hope for the best and forgive so easily, being there are no settled situations I feel a buildup of problems.

I have tried everything from calling, talking, showing up at the house and I hate that more than anything trying to resolve an issue that We both fed to the fire and not knowing where to go from there.

Is there a way I can approach the subject without starting another argument and letting it fully settle? How do I handle my current situation? He will call but never reply when I call back. Same with texting. Anything I have to say is “bitching”

I guess my questions are as follows.

a. Can it be repaired?
b. Is it worth repair?
c. if I repair the situation how can I approach the topic so that I can get answers?
d. What would be my best plan of action?

• This topic was modified 11 years ago by Sam.
• This topic was modified 11 years ago by Sam.
• This topic was modified 11 years ago by Sam.
• This topic was modified 11 years ago by Sam.