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Apology to a Mate

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  • March 23, 2019 at 4:43 am #285873
    Thomas
    Participant

    I haven’t replied to the above message as we did have a 30 min phone call that night but this was what I was going to say to him today as I said wouldn’t message him till weekend:

     

    I could be more understanding man, you’re going through a crap time here & I don’t always realise that mate and for that I’m sorry. I am confused though as I thought we were over this issue mate? Thought you understood that we don’t need to chat 24/7 and we don’t need to hang out every week? I certainly don’t think you’re stringing me along or giving me false hope for that matter either. I honestly think you’ve gotten the wrong idea about me and misunderstood me big time mate. Ultimately I think it’s important that we listen to each other, are both-open minded & honest with each other so we can figure out what kind of friendship we can have as it’s the only way it’s going to work. You are a really a nice guy and I like having you in my life so I will try my best to get this sorted with you but that’s all I can do so after that it’s up to you, ball will be in your court mate!

    March 23, 2019 at 4:48 am #285875
    Thomas
    Participant

    Is there anything else I should say/mention in this message? I don’t want to say too much as want to leave it for when we meet which is still happening on Monday or Tuesday but I do start off in the right direction and address the important points more than anything 🙂

    Thanks everyone

    March 23, 2019 at 9:22 am #285907
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Thomas:

    I would eliminate the part from “I am confused..” to “you’ve gotten the wrong idea about me and misunderstood me big time mate”- the last sentence is confrontational. He understood you quite well (end of page 1 of your thread). Even if you are more patient with him now, the anxiety you felt before when he didn’t answer you quickly enough etc., that anxiety does not disappear when we.. decide that we will not be anxious anymore.

    I suppose you made a mistake when you expressed to him before how anxious you were and how badly you felt when he didn’t reply to you quickly enough, you really impressed your distress on him and he remembers it well. It will take some time for him to not feel that he is hurting you when he doesn’t reply to you quickly.

    Better, in the future, contain your anxiety best you can, that is, express  some of it but not a whole lot. Because sometimes you say things and then, you can’t  unsay them. Do you know what I mean?

    anita

    March 23, 2019 at 9:53 am #285915
    Thomas
    Participant

    Yes I understand completely, I’ll remove that part. I do think i told him too much but I cannot change the past. Rest of the message is fine I assume & conveys that I would like to resolve this?

    March 23, 2019 at 9:58 am #285919
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Yes, Thomas, the rest of your message reads fine to me.

    anita

    March 23, 2019 at 10:46 am #285933
    Thomas
    Participant

    Wonderful, thanks for the input. My therapist agreed with me I have two choices, try to resolve something or walk away. So i am prepared to walk away from this if the outcome isn’t favourable as i need to do what’s best for me

    March 23, 2019 at 11:46 am #285951
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Thomas:

    You are welcome. I am glad you are seeing a therapist. Feel free to post again anytime you’d like my input.

    (I will be back to the computer in about 17 hours from now).

    anita

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