My boyfriend and I haven’t been together very long, but before I met him he applied to the police force half-way across the country.

He’s a bit young, but we’ve both said we’re looking for something serious and so far things have been mostly fantastic. Because of his age, 23, he isn’t sure he’ll get in but he knows a few people where he applied who are trying to pull strings for him to get him an admission. I worry that he will leave. We have talked about it before and he said he would be happy with doing something long-distance, but at the time I said I wasn’t sure. I’ve been thinking about it since and believe I would be okay with a Long-distance arrangement as long as it was temporary- I think if things were still decent we’d move in together. Or at least, that’s what’s on my mind.

I’ve done a long-distance relationship before and in the end, they cheated on me, which ended that. I have minor worries that it will happen again, that we won’t be in contact as often and he will either get bored and will see someone new.

He’s assured me that he isn’t a cheater and that sex isn’t a high priority for him. At Christmas, one of his family members asked what he and I will do if he’s admitted and he said ‘She’ll come with me’. I pretended not to hear, and he never mentioned it again. I can’t tell if that’s what he actually wants or not. Either way, I’m anxious about this because if he goes there are 2 scenarios- a) I go with him and leave most of my friends and family behind b) he goes and I stay here.

I love him, we both agree we care. However, I’m concerned that we can’t organically move our relationship. I don’t want to rush into anything without it feeling natural, but because this is a big deal I feel like we need to plan what we’ll do now. Talking about the future is hard because we haven’t been together very long, although we both hope to be with each other for the long-term. He is very relaxed and doesn’t worry about these sorts of things. He hadn’t even thought of it until I brought it up.

I don’t know what to do, to feel calm while waiting for the official admission/rejection letter comes. It could come in days, weeks or even months. Does anyone have any advice?

• This topic was modified 10 years, 10 months ago by Sally Gene.