Hi everyone, sorry for the late reply.

I just wanted to check in and let you know that the wedding was FUN! ‘She’, or ‘IT’ was standing framed in the doorway as I arrived, but she looked rather sheepish and was quiet. On the way up in the car with my gay guys, one of them let it slip that due to his close working relationship with her that he would have to spend the day ‘pretending to be her best friend’. When I queried this, he said ‘That’s what EVERYONE does with her!’. So this in a way was the answer to everything (apart from your great advice here!)

As soon as she saw me, she threw her arms around me, saying how great it was to see me. Later in the day, she bought me a drink which I accepted because, let’s face it, it was the least she could do!!! We chatted as ‘normal’ and then later in the evening, she even arranged for me to get a lift home safely so I didn’t have to take the train. She was in the car on the way back and she took my hand and held it the whole way home. I was quite open with her and said ‘Look the thing is, I thought you hated me. The way you treated me when I worked there, I could never understand’. She said she was capable of being quite brash and that because I was a sensitive person, she found it hard to handle, but she never hated me or had any bad will against me. It’s just such a shame that her actions dictated otherwise and that such a big part of my life was taken up by her being in my head.

So I feel I can safely put her away now in the box she belongs. I have no desire to be her friend but I faced my fear and had a great day. I was one of the last ones standing too! Thank you for everything.

Regarding the autism, I will write down some of my symptoms as I’m pretty sure now that I fall somewhere between the autistic and aspergers diagnosis (not severe but somewhere there).

Thanks again everyone xxx