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Anxiety, jealousy sleeplessness and stalking

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  • May 26, 2018 at 9:49 pm #209569
    chris
    Participant

    I met this girl through a game. We played for some period of time. During the past few days, i been kind of dropping hints that i like her. She seems receivable plus with the same feeling back too. But she said she was unsure many times. This wednesday, i confessed i like her and she did the same. We were texting. But you have to note we have not met yet.

    So since Friday, she seemed kind of like, distant, her replies are abit shorter then compared to previously. I was working on that day and i texted if she was playing. She told me that she didnt feel like playing. However around 11pm, she did went to play. Further more she was playing with another guy “A” (we were a group of friends who usually play together. However, everyone thought this guy “A” was a girl at first because of the way he types. “A”also recently revealed he is a guy to the rest.) I had previously told her i didnt really want to play with “A” after that. We did argue alittle on thursday because she wanted to invite “A” to join us, but i rejected. However after a few minutes, i told her to invite him if she wants. She rejected saying “Dont want to, later you become grumpy”. It looks like she gave in to me.

    I kept stalking, checking to see at times if they were playing together. I think im infatuated as this is supposedly someone confessed to me. We used the word “like” , not “love”. I have excessive jealousy. I was really torn apart at that time. She didnt even invite me or anything. I felt like breaking down, I even had problems sleeping the past few days (even before the “A” revealation and i dont know why. Im also having this panicky, restless worry causing overthinking that wont go away. Im also over possesive and worried that she is suddenly uninterested in me.

    Last night, we did play together again, just the two of us, however she still seem abit distant but is talking abit more.

    What should i do, im afraid that due to everyone thinking that “A” was a girl previously, it would be much easier for everyone to be closer to him especially the girl i am talking to. My excessive jealousy, anxiety and stalking isnt helping.

    I know this is an excessive wall of text. I can clear it up if there is any confusing parts.

    May 27, 2018 at 2:58 am #209589
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear chris:

    Over four years ago, in 2014, your first thread, you wrote: “my separation anxiety came up… I was really scared and panicking”.

    It is this persistent separation anxiety that needs to be dealt with. When you panic, you are driven to do things that hurt you and drive people away, the same people you are afraid of losing.

    When you feel a spike of fear, calm down best you can. Thoughtfully choose what to do next, if anything. Don’t rush into action. Stop. Wait. Breathe. Take a long walk, listen to relaxing music. In other words, take time out before rushing into action.

    When you see that you are able to choose wisely even though you feel anxious, you will build on a sense of self confidence, a trust in yourself, and it is this very trust that will decrease your anxiety.

    anita

    May 27, 2018 at 4:59 am #209601
    Airene
    Participant

    Hello Chris,

    I agree with everything Anita has said.  Building your self-confidence and trust in yourself to handle these feelings will decrease your anxiety and give you the tools to deal with situations presented with your gaming friend.

    I’m a little unclear what you mean here: “I think im infatuated as this is supposedly someone confessed to me. ” The someone you refer to – is this your gaming friend?  The one who said she liked you too after you told her you liked her?

    You go on to say you have excessive jealousy.  Have you tried finding ways to manage this?  Just like when you panic, you may drive away the very people you don’t want to lose if you let this excessive jealousy drive your actions.

    Airene

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