Hey there stefan,

First off, id just like to say that i totally understand how you feel. For me i believe that ive always had anxiety, but what really triggered it and made it worse was the drug propecia. Anyway it started with a panic attack that i never came down from. Everything seemed off and weird and pointless. Like i was in a dream. It was the scariest thing ive ever experienced. Then the instrusive thoughts came. Then the physical symptoms. Headaches, dizzyness, chills, panic attacks…you name it.

I also had an enormous fear of losing my mind or having bipolar or chronic depression. I used to have severe health anxiety, always believing that there was some serious thing wrong with me. Only to find out im perfectly healthy. Now, i still have a lot of physical symptoms, but my fear of them is almost completely gone. My depression is gone, my thoughts dont scare me, and i focus on other things in my life.

Now i understand that outside stresses can bother you an make anxiety a lot worse. But its your reaction to those strsses that creates anxiety. When you see yourself reacting badly to stress, just take a step back and be mindful that this is life. Its always stressful and hard but if its something you cant control, dont stress it. Thats a HUGE part of what helped me. DO NOT try to control what is uncontrollable.

Okay, so the one thing that helped me get to this place…and is still helping me is a man named Paul David. His website is called anxietynomore.com look it up and trust me when i say he is a lifesaver. You dont have to pay anything (unless you want to read his book, which i say is worth it. I actually bought the anxietynomore app which includes the book) Paul suffered for 10 years before e realized how to help himself. The answer is acceptance. It sounded stupid to me. I didnt understand it at first. Basically, anxiety feeds off of fear. If you are constantly inside your mind and analyzing how you feel, you will feel disconnected and highly anxious. Depression is common because you spend so much time stressing on how yo feel that your mind gets tired and emotions shut off. Its just a tired mind. Paul describes it like this:

If you break your leg, are you gonna stress and worry about how your leg is broken and how you cant do anything? Or are you gonna live with it and let it heal. Thats what pauls message is. You MUST let everything be there. Fighting this will only dig the hole deeper. Trust me, i did this for 2 months before i found paul. And even then it took me another 2 months for it to truly sink in. But please dont be discouraged on how long it might take for yo to recover. The aim is to no longer care about anxiety. Once that happens, anxiety will have no reason to be there and wil leave by itself. Youll start finding days where you wont even have a thought about how you feel. Those days will turn to weeks. There will be ups and downs and believe me when i say i thought that i had beaten anxiety only to have it hit with full force once again. But then i remembered pauls advice and decided to not let it take over my life.

Its up to you stefan. Self pity and ruminating about whats wrong in your life is not the way to do this. I cant stress enough how important positivity is. If you dont feel positive, dont get stressed about that. The point here is to be ok with however you feel.

Lastly, on pauls website youll see a tab at the top that says blog. That blog is EXTREMELY helpful. There are many other people who are suffering just like you and all they do is support each other. Its extremely inspiring. Its pauls blog but just click on the comments on his most recent post and start commenting if youd like, people are very friendly. Youll see me on there from time to time.

Remember. Its all upto you. This is YOUR life. And YOUR story. Dont let anything control it. Realize that there is a reality as well as a percieved reality. Always know the difference and stress will find you no more. It will take time but its all a journey and you will find moments that will make life worth it. I promise you. If you need anything else dont hesistate to message me or find me on facebook. Just look up kevin venkatesh. I wish you the best man

Thanks to both of you for sharing. I have also dealt with anxiety for many years-and i think that seeing your counsellor is a great step forward already. I have always wished that i could just let certain things slide, and be a relaxed and person who can just enjoy life. Exercise, music, and dancing (sometimes by myself 😉 really tends to help me when i’m feeling anxious or stressed, or disconnected. But I would say one of the most important things I have found helpful, is finding my passions in life-and just going after them.

Have you considered volunteering, or working for a cause that you feel really passionate about? Helping other people, or being a part of a group of people either working towards a goal, or just learning something new that you may be interested in? I know motivation can be a tricky thing to overcome with anxiety/depression-i completely understand. But I feel like recognizing my passions in life, has really helped me give focus to the outside world, i find that my anxiety tends to keep me in my own mind and space, , and has helped me to reconnect with other people. Start out small with something you feel comfortable with, and allow yourself to take your time and be patient with yourself. Thank you, to the commentor above, for talking about personal acceptance-it is truly so important.The books and blogs and such can be really great tools too, check out “The Tao of Pooh” byBen Hoff. But getting out there, and finding your passions, whatever they are will along the way help with the motivation.

All the best to you 🙂

Hey Stefan! I totally know how you’re feeling. I’ve been through a lot this year. Before April this year, I’ve been to a therapist for almost two years and was prescribed anti depressants for anxiety and depression.
And then I felt better so I didn’t go anymore. Well, I lowered my medication, didn’t go off it though. And my anxiety and depression came back pretty badly. Then last week I went to see my therapist for the first time in months. And she said: well, then you’ll have to increase your medication again. And I did. And after just 10 days I already feel better.
You know, anti depressants are not a miracle thing. It takes hard work and years of therapy to get better. But the medication can change the chemistry in your brain to a point where you’re not suffering and agonizing because of your issues.
I would highly recommend you to see a doctor or therapist and get help. It’s ok not to be ok! We’re all human, we all have flaws. And depression and anxiety are illnesses. And there’s treatment for them – not the best yet – but there are treatments.

Good luck to you and all the best!
xx

Hi Stefan,

Are you doing any cbt? I have social anxiety disorder and this has really helped me a lot. I wish I started sooner, as it really helps you see how irrational your thoughts are and has eased my anxiety so much. Please try it out :). I use a book and audio, and do at least 5 minutes everyday (you start to want to do it). It’s very helpful 🙂

Stefan,

Any progress since you posted this? Let us know keep us updated, we’d like to help!

All the best to you and my prayers reach out to you,

Spidey.

Any further advice for when I have days where I feel a bit slack about doing anything?
Go to bed earlier the night before? Allow myself to have a day of chilling?

If you mean by “feel a bit slack” in terms of having no motivation and feeling down about yourself, the best thing I strongly recommend and urge is to try and get outside and go for a walk. Unless you’re “feeling a bit slack” in terms of having a productive day then just wanting to relax after a long day, then yeah going to bed early and recouping is a good idea. But if you’re using that “slack time” because you’re feeling depressed and have no energy, then you really need to try and get out of you head.

When you do fall into the depressive mindset, really try and focus on the triggers that set it off. What thoughts were circulating in your head when the feelings came about? Did any pressures get put onto you?

Once you have that focus on that particular trigger Stefan, apply a meaning to it. What does it mean? There is no right or wrong as it is subjective, but you need to give that focus a meaning, because the next step is asking yourself “what are you going to do about it?” This is where you need to act and take action. Because once your mindset is fixed, and you make it purposeful, then the action will unfold naturally.

Also, when you have days when you are just “not feeling it”, identify “why” you’re not feeling it. Once again, apply your focus, derive meaning from it, and act from that meaning.

I hope this helps. When you do fall into that depressed mindset, try and apply those three steps, and tell me what you got out of it.

All the best,

Spidey