Anxiety and feeling detached from your surrounding

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This topic has 12 replies, 10 voices, and was last updated 10 years, 6 months ago by James Higgins.

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May 10, 2013 at 12:10 pm #35366
Julz
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ive been dealing with anxiety and i suffer a lot from the feeling of being detached. everything feels unreal and i cant make it stop. i feel so trapped. i feel im going crazy. im in the beginning of my therapy but sometimes it seems to destroy me. i dont udnerstand these feelings of seeing everything as unreal. what happens to you? is your brain literally overwhelmed and shuts off? are there feelings remained unfelt and reach out to you or is is simply a message saying “there is something wrong here” in general? when I feel good I dont feel detached. and recently it has become worse because my mind starts to reject all positive thoughts.
i dont understand why i feel like this and i feel so out of control and helpless
- This topic was modified 11 years, 7 months ago by Julz.
May 10, 2013 at 1:06 pm #35371

Beanz76
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Hi Julz, sorry you are going through this I understand how you feel and its extremely frightening.

I’m not an expert but based on my experience I would say for me detachment is a defence mechanism, the minds way of protecting itself. I would experience this in times of stress or anxiety, the problem with anxiety is there is not an actual real fear or anything to be fearful of and this is what feeds it. The detachment is a further manifestation of this as if to give you something to be fearful of, to make sense of the anxiety you are feeling.

I also found these feelings would appear while I was having therapy, which makes sense as therapy is hard work trawling through everything is exhausting and its not surprising our mind wants to feel ‘detached’. Feelings of detachment are a common symptom of anxiety, I used to feel I was the only one who had experienced this and I was weird and going mad but it really is rather common and not a mental disorder or anything like that, just a normal reaction to what you are going through.

Remember when you are feeling like this not to give it power, I always think to myself ‘ah I know why this is happening its just my mind trying to make sense of things, whats really bothering me’. Sounds silly but it gives me back control, it kind of stops it going further and brings me back to reality.

Thats my experience anyway, I hope you find some of this useful. Remember just because you are feeling bad it doesn’t mean things are bad and with the therapy you will feel better and the feelings of detachment will reduce and subside.

Wishing you all the best xx

May 10, 2013 at 3:16 pm #35376

Julz
Participant

Thank you for your explanation!
it is helpful. Im glad you answered me.
I ll read it again and again.

May 10, 2013 at 4:12 pm #35378

Arius Frogge’
Participant

Just a couple months ago, I have been diagnosed with general anxiety and my medication hasn’t been very helpful. I am a new meditator and is wondering if there is any meditations that can be an impact on my anxiety. I don’t have that bad of anxiety but I would like to get rid of it before it worsens and I am trying to switch my medication. I also tend to want to fix other people’s problems, and my councelor said that that is very unhealthy to do especially if you have anxiety. She told me to start focusing on fixing my own problems.

May 11, 2013 at 10:19 pm #35466

Karen
Participant

I have this feeling of detachment sometimes as well. I have figured out some interesting things about why it happens with me. And, don’t know it’s soooooo lonely and scary and eerie and weird and yucky. I never understood how it could be a defense issue because what I fear most is feeling lonely, weird, eerie and yucky….so I’d think my defense would do a bit better. However, it happens. There are two things that really help get me through these times. The first is the obvious fact that “this will pass.” I have found I tell someone I feel so weird and things are unreal, but I know it’s temporary. When I tell another that my state is temporary, I somehow really believe it. And, it is really true. I actually have learned that I can handle it because I know it’s going to pass. And, each time I stay present with it, and really experience the sensations (I describe it as being in a horror movie-like state.) and FEEL the scary unknown, then for whatever reason, it passes. The second thing I do is use one of my five senses and focus on it intensely. I stop whatever it is I’m doing, or not doing, and pick a sense. It’s very had to do when I’m in the detachment mode, but it’s doable. I usually pick hearing. I listen to all the sounds. Focus on them and when I start to drift, I try to focus on the sound or I pick another sense. Eat….and I mean really, really, really eat. Roll the food around in your mouth, feel the swallowing, and breath into the tummy.
Now, I must remember my own words next time I’m feeling unreal! 🙂
Best and Peace.

May 11, 2013 at 10:23 pm #35467

Karen
Participant

And my goodness, excuse all the typos and grammar! My keyboard needs some serious cleaning! At any rate, I think the ideas of knowing it will pass and using your senses to get back to reality are relayed.

May 12, 2013 at 6:36 pm #35481

Anonymous
Inactive

Hi Arius,

Just want to say that I am not a doctor…the suggestions I make to you are based on what has helped me personally.

If it’s only been a couple of months on meds talk to your doctor about the dosage. These are regulatory drugs and I did several dose changes to finally get it right. I started peaceful meditation as well just a few months ago. While the meditation hasn’t done away with my need for meds, it certainly has made it easier to be peaceful and concentrate. The best change ever to be suggested by my doctor when helping me with anxiety was when he said, “you can’t help yourself or anyone else unless you’re getting a good, solid night’s sleep. My meds include trazadone and it guarantees a good night’s sleep every night and makes my days much more productive and happy.

I also have to control the need to fix other people’s problems…I’m not sure what it is about needing to fix yourself that compels us to fix other people. I now take all that energy and concentrate on fixing myself!

Hope this helps and good luck!

May 13, 2013 at 3:37 am #35492

anne
Participant

I firstly want to tell you not to be afraid – you are not alone!

This time last year I was exactly like you, I just didn’t ‘feel’ anymore and felt like I was a in a bubble of sorts, and torn between a million different emotions. Since then I had a year of anti depressants, 6 weeks of REBT therapy, not to mention reading countless books / articles etc and learning who I can and can’t trust. Somedays I just wanted to press a big stop button and stop the world from turning, as I was internally in so much turmoil. I remember sitting in groups of people chatting but in my head I was screaming can’t you see or hear me screaming?! People though can’t see through into your head – you have to learn to share, albeit maybe not the screaming variety! I hid my emotions well and even loved ones didn’t realise I was on the edge of giving up.

Fast forward a year and I’m now off the anti-d’s – not easy – actually am in withdrawal stage which has triggered a little anxiety but I refuse to acknowledge it and know it will pass, like it did before. Like yours will too! I’ve met a great man and we move in together this week. Trust me there is a life out there for you too. I’ve learned to confide in people and to live again.

You are doing the right thing in coming here, its the first step of acknowledging your anxiety and depression and you are on the right path. Go back to your dr and discuss your medication, by taking control it reinforces that YOU are actually in control of of your life. Its not easy at times, be kind to yourself and you will get there!

Good luck x

May 18, 2013 at 2:58 am #35833

tinydisciple
Participant

wow.the last part has blown me off my wits.i myself from general anxiety,and till this very point of time,felt that the only way i can cure it is by helping others and getting the answers for myself,from myself.i almost thought that this was something heroic,that i am in a muddle,and i can still help other people,but this was an eye-opener,truly.
i failed to recognize that whatever i come up with helping others gets blown away in the wind when i truly need it…
thank you so much for the much needed insight.

May 18, 2013 at 12:54 pm #35837

Anonymous
Inactive

Let me clarify and maybe I misunderstood you a little bit…there’s nothing wrong with helping others…I guess my point was make sure you are helping yourself first?
Sorry if I confused you tinydisciple…maybe I was a little confused as well.
Peace

May 19, 2013 at 5:32 pm #35863

Simon
Participant

I experienced detachment a year ago over the summer. I had no idea what it was, and it was TERRIFYING. All I knew was that I would randomly wake up in the middle of the night and my body was moving but my mind wasn’t thinking about the motions. I’d look down and literally think…”When did I walk here?” and I would look in the mirror and think, “This isn’t right…I’m looking at myself from outside of myself.” Scary, scary times. I remember the RELIEF I got when I told my mother about it and she said, “Oh yeah, I’ve heard of that type of thing happening during panic attacks.” It didn’t make it stop, per se, but boy did it make it less scary when I knew I wasn’t actually going crazy. Or being abducted by aliens. O_O

May 26, 2013 at 10:56 am #36128

Angie
Participant

Meditation has helped me with my anxiety a lot. Particularly one set of short guided meditations called “meditations for busy people” by Bodhipaksa. Honestly, I had to do them for a year before I saw the true benefits…. one day my anxiety was spiralling and, like instinct, I start doing my bresthing and calming myself down. It was such a powerful and liberating experience to stop my anxiety for the first time in my life, as like you I felt trapped and powerless. Once you make a small win like that your progress snowballs, because you realise you are capable of controlling your mid.

Be patient with yourself and keep doing small positive steps, you will overcome it I promise.

June 23, 2014 at 3:47 pm #59416
James Higgins
Participant
Hello,
I have been suffering from some social anxiety and I am feel detatched from my own family. Its as if I don’t care about people anymore all of a sudden and the lack of feeling scares me. When I tell my parents I feel evwn more distant from th. We are a very close family and its like my an anxiety shifted from people at school to my family. One time I looked at my pet birds and felt like how one feels about people. The more I talk the more distant and depersonalized I feel, so I try to stop and collect my self. I fear having many disorders but I think its just symptoms from anxiety. Its as if all thw positive things in my life were taken away.
- This reply was modified 10 years, 6 months ago by James Higgins.
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