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  • #208805
    Airene
    Participant

    Hello Heartbrokengurl,

    Is this the guy you were seeing in April?

    I can understand why your anxiety is amped up after sharing something deeply personal and difficult for you.  You want reassurance, and he’s not giving you that, at least not at this point.  He might be processing things or he might be trying to find a way to tell you something he knows you don’t want to hear.  Given that he has been distant and not texting as much, not calling or messaging, I’d be prepared.  If it’s just torture for you to wait to heard from him, if you haven’t hear from him on the third or fourth day, I would reach out to him.  Be as unemotional as possible, and ask him where he is at with you and everything you told him.  You have a right to know, as much as he had a right to know your circumstances.

    Please post any time.

    Airene

     

    • This reply was modified 6 years, 11 months ago by Airene.
    #208901
    Regi
    Participant

    There are many forms of herpes if I’m correct. I don’t know what you know about your herpes but if you do, share this with him, if you don’t, find out and then share this with him. It’s quite obvious that he’s bothered with this. If you feel there is something wrong you’re probably right. Imagine if he’s having bad thoughts… These thoughts are no good for your relationship, so you should try to help him remove these thoughts. I don’t know you and I don’t know him or your herpes, so it’s up to you how you deal with this. But you should deal with this for sure, in stead of letting both of you suffer from this awkward radio silence.

    Share with us how things go, I’d like to know.

    Good luck !

    #208917
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Heartbrokengurl:

    Welcome back, good to read from you.

    I am thinking, because of the persistence of your anxiety, the persistence of your worrying that a man will withdraw from you and how much of a torture it is for you (“This anxiety of mine is such torture”)-

    why not assume this man will not call you, or that if he will call again, then he will not be interested in a relationship with him, or that if he will express an interest, that a relationship will be short and end soon enough.

    This has been the reality of your dating life most often, hasn’t it? So why not adjust your expectations to what you already experienced?

    It is often recommended to be positive, to have positive expectations. But it is not always a good idea. When a person is as persistently anxious as you are and have been for so long, better adjust to the reality of your anxiety and the reality that men have withdrawn from you before, repeatedly.

    If it works out with this man, let it be a surprise. A very pleasant surprise.

    anita

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