Dear Skyylar – my heart goes out to it really does. I’m glad you found this site, there are many wonderful people to help you on here, its quite a blessing. But I understand what your going through. Nothing feels good about rejection, but know that this time WILL pass. Emotions and events forever change like waves. You will see better days I promise you! Have you communicated this to your roommates btw? Perhaps the just dont know how you feel. In the meantime though, maybe you can look up meetup groups that share similar interests with you, thats a good way to find new friends. I am like you, I am somewhat quiet but we have to kinda force ourselves to get out there to increase our chances of meeting new people : ) I made a long time friend just from posting on this site! We have been friends for 4 yrs now. See, who wouldve known? As for the doctor, I’d say hold off for now. Maybe try to exercise or get out in nature to get that serotonin and of course come on here when your down. Sending you hugs..

-j

Hi Skyylar,

To me it sounds like you started off feeling defected and lonely because your friends are off doing their own thing. Your parents are also not being as supportive as you want too. As a result that support network, the community you guys had together has been broken and is no longer as supportive as it once was. Ultimately things have changed so quickly that you haven’t had time to adjust. Without your support network you feel like your truly walking alone and without any guidance or support. This has led you to worry and become anxious over things/ issues that are arising. Without your community you have, in a sense lost your identity of who you are.

Well, it’s not all bad news. Generally, as humans our identities are shaped by those around us, those we interact and share experiences with. But we often forget that we can construct our own identities and validate them ourselves. When people say they want to go back to a happier time, i’m optimistic that it can be done. However, when we think back, the circumstances were different. You can try as hard as you want to return to who you once were, but you may end up disappointed, because your attitude and opinion of yourself a year ago would of been supported by your friends and family. Personally, i would aim to make yourself a fun loving girl from this point, not try to duplicate the past. If you continue to look backwards at what was once before, you won’t see what’s coming straight at you. Possibly, because we, as humans see ourselves as members of larger communities and networks, we forget ourselves as the individual making these networks cohesive. I want you to look in the mirror and just look at yourself. What makes you happy, what makes you angry, sad, makes you laugh? What makes you important and special? What makes you…you?

Just because you are quite, doesn’t make you less able to have friends, it just makes you less vocal and visible than the rest. And i think we become friends and form bonds with people who have something we value, respect or namely don’t have. So your roomies could still be your friend, they may have just made a ‘human’ mistake and taken for granted that you aren’t affected by what they are doing.

Jane made a good suggestion; speak to your roomies. Try to understand why they are acting this way, instead of just accepting it at face value. Also, seeing a doctor doesn’t mean you will start taking pills. They can give them to you, but you don’t have to take them.

“Knowing others is wisdom, Knowing yourself is enlightenment” Lao Tzu

I hope this was helpful,
Sincerely, Matty