Grrr.
Okay, I guess I’m looking for advice. I have anger issues… But the issue is I DONT get angry. Well, I do but it’s very, very rare and burns out in seconds and then I feel shame for being angry. I generally put my anger away and ignore it. Healthy? Apparently not.

So I hold onto this shit for years and years and I never process it. It never runs it’s course. You know those steps of grieving and loss? Anger is one of them. I get to anger and the process stops and then, I think, starts again and again and again. Ugh…

When something really difficult, bad or whatever happens, and I have a legitimate right to feel anger, I don’t. Not right away. Down the line I’ll fucking explode for a few minutes. I’ll do or say things that are fucking ridiculous that may hurt others.

So in Dec, Jan, and then Feb, I lost my father, my job and then my gf. Yeah, I’m angry. I’m livid. Furious..lol. No, I’m not gonna punch a wall. I’m not going to write poetry. I’m not going to take up interpretive dance. I’m not going to yell and scream at inanimate objects. I’m not going to draw angry pictures. I don’t “feel” those things.

I do not know how to cope with this emotion. What do I do?