Hi everyone,

I’m a little bit confused right now, but mostly scared. I’ve been hurt in the past (cheated on, used for sex, etc.) which has left me with insecurities and emotional damage, so to speak. I met this guy on a social media app, and we hit it off pretty well. We exchanged numbers and felt like we had very much in common; he showed a lot of interest just as much as I was interested in him. I am currently a college student and live about 30-45 minutes away from where he lives. We first started talking about March 5th, and met in person by the end of March. I felt a really strong connection to him and it seemed to be mutual. However, things I feel are beginning to change…

The second time I saw him I made a mistake, one that I am regretting greatly. We slept together (both consented to it), but it made me secure an emotional attachment to him. Ever since then we’ve been having sex. It’s hard to see him because he works often so we make time at least one day a week. However, I’ve been the one driving up to see him. He hasn’t come visit me yet at my school. The texting has become less frequent between each other and we never made it a thing to call each other, so that’s out of the question. He still calls me certain pet names and makes me feel special and will initiate certain conversations via text (such as wishing me a good morning, or a good night text), but that is the extent of it. We don’t really text throughout the day anymore even if we still remain in touch on a daily basis.

When we’re in person things feel great. We cuddle, share intimate moments, and he’ll kiss my forehead and hold me close–everything that would make a girl feel special. It’ll be the 5th time I’m seeing him this week (we’ve been seeing/talking to each other for about 2 months now). I feel like whenever I want to discuss deep matters with him, he doesn’t feel comfortable. This Thursday I want to address “the future” and if he’s willing to see me over the summer because I will be going back home for summer break and I will then be 3 hours away from him. It kills me that we barely talk that much anymore through text so I can’t even imagine what it will feel like when I’m so far away from him.

He’s also told me about his past with ex girlfriends, and so far it seems like they all have been a bit psychotic. He’s been with girls who were really attached to him and he even admitted to that. I don’t know if his past should be a warning for me. He also has quite a good number of attractive female friends who he hangs out with.

He truly does seem like a genuine person and he has taken me out to dinner and out in public; we hold hands, we laugh and have a good time…he really really is respectful and kind towards me. I just don’t know if I’m not seeing any red flags or not. What should I do and should I let my walls down or should I keep them up? I’m 20 and he’s 24 so I don’t know if he has different goals in life right now than I do and I don’t know what he wants. I’m really scared that I could be screwing myself over and seeing someone whose intentions aren’t like I thought they were….