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Am i too late?

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Viewing 9 posts - 1 through 9 (of 9 total)
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  • May 28, 2017 at 3:09 am #150946
    Ann – Marie
    Participant

    Hi John,

    Just to let you know from your impression here you seem like a lovely caring & understanding person. 🙂

    So you started chatting online & got nervous before the initial meet, thats normal, you turned it around by getting back in touch which is great. Then you both went had a night out everything seem to go really well.

    However, the fact she is not responding to your messages is her way of saying it’s not for her. Whether its because maybe after the date she realised she didn’t want to date or she’s nervous for whatever reason. I would suggest stop messaging her especially if you have more than twice with no response.

    Take it as your next life lesson, enjoy the experience you had & as you said you are new to it there are many more people in the world.

    Get to know yourself before dating this is very important, when you know who you are, its much easier to attract the right kind of person for you.

    Everything that happens in life for you is a lesson, look at the whole situation yourself included, what did you learn.

    Hope this helps 🙂

    May 28, 2017 at 10:07 am #150968
    jon
    Participant

    In all honestly it did help. The conclusion is the same no matter how i think about. That is the fact that i made a decision to let this chance go and there nothing to be done after that. Thank you for the advice

    Was good to hear from a second voice on the topic.

    If anything i can use this experience in the future.

    May 28, 2017 at 8:39 pm #151024
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Jon:

    You broke off a romantic online communication with her because you felt anxious, then still communicated online for a while. Did you share with her that you broke off the romantic communication because of anxiety? I wonder what reason you gave her then?

    “If anything I can use this experience in the future?- to communicate better with the next woman, when calm and when anxious.

    anita

    May 28, 2017 at 9:27 pm #151026
    jon
    Participant

    yeah i clearly explained that it was because i was having some anxiety at first and i didn’t want to begin a relationship if that was how i was feeling at the time. I did not want to get into something when i could’ve had the power to end it earlier on to avoid any troubles. Although in hindsight, i feel like i should’ve given this a shot, cause the more i think about it, the more it seems like i really could’ve enjoyed myself. I honestly didn’t give that solid of a reason other than i felt like something “could go wrong”.  As you said i can use this experience to communicate better with the next woman; when calm and when anxious.

    May 28, 2017 at 10:17 pm #151036
    jon
    Participant

    One thing im curious about is why she would still invite me to her party when she wasn’t talking to me for a week or so before the party and hasn’t talked to me since the party. It was a small party of 5 ppl as well so we were in the same room doing the same stuff together. I thought she maybe wanted to be friends but like i said she hasn’t said a word to me.  Im thinking if she does want to be friends she’s trying to let our breakup be in the past and have the both of us past it.

    May 29, 2017 at 5:05 am #151044
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear jon:

    She too is lacking in the communication department, leaving you guessing, wondering what she is thinking and feeling and what are her motivations. If she told you, you wouldn’t have to guess.

    If indeed, the two of you communicated well in the beginning, then stopped communicating well, you keeping communication very superficial (ex. “hello, was your day?” ) and she, not responding to your messages, maybe it is time for you to reach out to the deeper communication you once had and ask her the questions that are on your mind? After all, she is the only one having the answers to her own thoughts, feelings and motivations.

    Regarding your anxiety, you wrote that you have no idea why you felt it during the online romantic communication with her. Would you like to look into why?

    If you do, you may benefit from it, be able to explain it to her (in the same message with the questions to her, perhaps), and learn what to do when you feel anxious again in the context of a possible relationship.

    anita

    May 29, 2017 at 2:22 pm #151148
    Smile
    Participant

    @Ann Marie’s advice is wonderful.

    Know thy self… it is the key… work on yourself, build your confidence level.

    You might have spoilt the show with your anxiety , she lost attraction for you. Ladies are naturally attracted to confident guys.

    But not your loss though, it is her loss…. develop your self and you will meet someone better.

    May 29, 2017 at 8:13 pm #151164
    jon
    Participant

    Thank you again for the advice guys and i actually ended up letting her know how i regret not moving further and wished i had at least given us a shot. She asked me why and i explained again and she wants to just be friends. Thats what i was hoping for; an answer to not knowing where exactly we were going. So my situation is complete. thank you for everyones advice and help.

    May 29, 2017 at 8:28 pm #151172
    Anonymous
    Guest

    You are welcome, jon. Post anytime.

    anita

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