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Am I so Bad?

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  • September 9, 2017 at 12:24 pm #168060
    Eliana
    Participant

    Hi Mini Ahuja,

    Who cares what other people think. It is your life, not theirs, your business, not theirs, your marriage, not theirs. You are old enough to make your own decisions, and if you are in an unhappy marriage, only you can decide if you want to continue to be in one or not. Personally, I would rather be alone, than in an unhappy marriage, and if friends and family disapprove, it’s their problem, they don’t have to fight your battles.

    If they start verbally abusing or emotionally abusing you, you do not have to take it. Simply tell them them you will not tolerate belittling, yelling, critism, negativity. And leave. If they can’t be supportive of you, have as little contact with them as possible. The last thing you need is more misery and unhappiness. They should be supportive of you, and if they can’t, let them know you will not tolerate their abuse and walk away or leave.

    • This reply was modified 7 years, 7 months ago by Eliana.
    September 10, 2017 at 5:50 am #168096
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Mini Ahuja:

    You strongly dislike the man you married, the one arranged for you to marry. That doesn’t make you bad.

    Problem is you live with your parents who arranged that marriage and now disagree with you ending the marriage. Problem is you live in a society where parents rule their children’s lives, no matter the children are adults and it promotes marriage no-matter-how-unhappy in it.

    Lots of people in arranged marriages compensate for their lack of content by having girlfriends/boyfriends on the side. Society turns a blind eye to that, doesn’t it?

    You wrote that you are “an overly sensitive person”. That makes living with a man you dislike very difficult. But it also makes living with people who disapprove of you (your parents) very difficult. It is difficult for anyone to live with disapproval from all around. This is why it would be best if you could remove yourself from your parents’ home, from this society you are in and live elsewhere, free.

    “Born to be free” you suffer, shackled.

    anita

     

    September 10, 2017 at 7:47 am #168100
    Mini Ahuja
    Participant

    Thanks Eliana for the support and motivation.

    September 10, 2017 at 7:50 am #168102
    Mini Ahuja
    Participant

    Hi Anita

    I’m longing for that freedom. My soul feels bounded. I hope I’ll soon be able to come out of this shell. Thanks for your motivation.

     

     

    September 10, 2017 at 8:23 am #168106
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Mini Ahuja:

    You are welcome. You started your fight for your freedom by leaving the home you shared with your arranged-husband. The fight is not over. There must be a next step, a next thing to do. It requires more courage, to defy your parents, your arranged-husband, and society.

    It is not easy and will not be easy. Therefore it is your decision, your very personal decision, to continue the fight or to give up.

    I hope you post again with your thoughts and feelings.

    anita

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