I’m gonna chime in here, too. :0) I agree with Mark.

It sounds like you’ve been in a rip-roaring frenzy over these phones – made worse by his secrecy. I know from personal experience in relationships how easily things can be manipulated, and you how easy it is to make yourself the bad guy. It’s one thing to constantly want to know what your partner is doing, being possessive and obsessive – not allowing them to have friends or their own life due to trust issues. It’s another thing to be curious about some weird and extremely private behavior with a couple of phones and SIM cards.

Without him being half as upset as you, you would happily allow him access to your phone to ease his worried mind. Even if you were frustrated by the silliness of his request, you would respect and understand his curiosity. Does he respect your curiosity about his oddly private behavior with locking his phone, hiding SIM cards, and the like? Or, does he make you feel worse by calling you controlling?

We are talking about mutual respect and boundaries, and if what you define as “respect” within the relationship is different from his… How’s that ever gonna work? You have trust issues, so he uses that as an excuse to keep hiding because he doesn’t want to be controlled? So, he keeps hiding, making you more “paranoid”, and round and round it goes for over a year now. That’s a vicious cycle that needs to be broken, Hon.

Don’t beat yourself up for being curious, at the same time don’t beat him up for not wanting to share….it’s going to frustrate you both more. He knows it’s a real problem for you, and he either respects that and changes or he doesn’t and you have to change. There’s no right or wrong here… You just need to be honest with yourself about what you want, and what you define as being respected within the relationship. If he doesn’t give that to you, than it’s time to think about making some changes.

Based on what you’ve said, that’s my advice. I hope it helps. Good luck!