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Am I on the right way?

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  • June 20, 2015 at 5:10 am #78505
    Glet
    Participant

    Hello there…
    I went through a similar situation and after everything I have learnt that
    “the reality is that you can’t control how a person feels about you…but you can control your thoughts”…
    and I love that you decided to work on your self confidence that is the greatest step and the best step to take…and its okay to feel lonely once in a while because change doesn’t happen in a day…but when you feel lonely,try writing down your thoughts….see what triggers this loneliness..and be aware of everything you are feeling at that time….
    letting go of someone is hard but I advice you to keep working on yourself..to feed yourself with positivity (this won’t be easy)…but when a negative thought crosses your mind,try reminding yourself that you are a good person who deserves to be happy…
    (I have a reminder on my phone and every day when I wake up the reminder comes and it reads “hey you are beautiful and amazing and today you will be happier than you were yesterday”,.
    and after reading that I get out of bed with a positive mindset….

    so don’t give up on your journey,keep trying to be the happy,confident person that you want to be and with time you will find someone and if it doesn’t work,remember its not because you were the weak link but because they didn’t work on themselves like you did…

    I wish you all the best

    June 20, 2015 at 6:40 am #78513
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear terkatt:
    I don’t understand your question: are you doing the right thing.. doing what specifically?

    Having changed and then gone back to the country where you were before you changed is very difficult, very challenging. Every time I went back to my origin country I regressed in my progressed and I did regress big time. I wish I didn’t.
    anita

    June 20, 2015 at 2:26 pm #78522
    Terkatt
    Participant

    Thank you so much for your support! Any hope matters a lot to me, not because I’m entirely hopeless, but because living with more hope is always better. 🙂

    To Glet: I’m happy that you went through this situation and stayed strong! In fact, I’m not looking for a romantic relationship right now. To start one, I feel that I must find the right person, which cannot be done overnight. At least now I know what I want, and I believe that I have already let go of all feelings to the girls mentioned in my post. I’ll try to avoid such blind attachments in the future. What remains in my mind is uncertainty about the future and some traits of culture clash, but forcing my thoughts away must help. I do appreciate your comment!

    To anita: Thanks for sharing your experience! I just wanted to know if my thoughts and actions could actually lead me to a happier and more fulfilling life. I’m glad to hear that I’m not alone in my feelings, and I hope the upcoming three-month stay with my family in my home country, which is Ukraine, will help me shape my worldview even better. May I ask you where you’re from and where you live now, just to compare our cultural shifts?

    June 20, 2015 at 6:14 pm #78529
    Matt
    Participant

    Terkatt,

    All those good works you have been doing are certainly helpful in having a clean mental space. They will help clear the reactivness so you can respond to situations.

    Consider that the fear of the future is not really the issue. We naturally experience fear when we encounter the unknown. And “the future” is perhaps the biggest unknown of them all. The problem isn’t the fear, rather, its the reaction to the fear of scrambling for ground. Of trying to tell stories, examine data, project outcomes…. things that make us feel more secure, dismantle the fear.

    Instead, we can rest with the fear, befriend the fear, feel it inside us as we meet up with the blank canvas of the next breath, day, week, year. This is where we find our tender courage. Consider “pema chodron awakening compassion” on YouTube. She offers much more detail about this with eloquence and wisdom.

    With warmth,
    Matt

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