Home→Forums→Relationships→Am I in a toxic relationship or i just need to grow more?
- This topic has 7 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 6 years, 4 months ago by Michelle.
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August 20, 2018 at 9:44 pm #222275Miss AlligatorParticipant
Hello everybody.
I am really confused about my relationship right now and I would love to know your opinions.
I am in a 2 years relationship with a divorced guy who has 2 kids and i have been very well. We love and support each other. The problem is when i dont agree with what he wants to do. Sometimes he is right and his way is the best way. Anyway, the problem i have right now is that his ex wife doesnt have a place to stay since she broke up with her boyfriend and my boyfriend offers her his house to stay while she finds where to leave. I got insecure and afraid, im not going to lie, i told him if he ever thought to get back together and he said he wont and he got upset. He told me im selfish and inmature for getting upset. I have thought about it and decided to let things happen the way it will happen. I told him i was sorry for my behavoir and he suddenly start another fight telling me why i liked pictures of a guy in my instagram. He called me liar and he cant trust me and he doesnt want to be with me and i should block him. I literalt cried tellibg him why he wants to be so upset at me for everything ans he just hung up the phone. We dont leave in the same state and he visit me once at month but now i feel so sad and confused. My head is making ideas about why he got upset just to leave me….. should i try to talk to him? Or maybe he is the one doing wrong? I dont know anymore. Please help me. I feel i want to dissapear.
August 20, 2018 at 10:06 pm #222279miranamParticipantHello Yu,
I am so sorry for what you are going through. As much as I approve his decision to privide his ex wife with a shelter, as strongly I condemn his behaviour towards you. I think you have your right of feeling insecure about it and a real man would act with compassion and would try to reassure you. I would run away as far as I can. He doesn’t deserve you
August 21, 2018 at 10:36 am #222361AnonymousGuestDear Yu Arriaga:
I understand you feeling distressed about your boyfriend’s ex wife moving in with him, however temporarily, and over the rights and maybe the ending of your relationship. I do hope you gain clarity soon and feel better.
You wrote that he has two kids, with the same ex wife that is moving in with him, correct? And the two kids have been living with him while his ex wife was living with her ex boyfriend?
anita
August 21, 2018 at 10:43 am #222365Miss AlligatorParticipantThis is correct. She went to another state to get some classes for a new job she is looking to get. The kids used to visit her and her ex in the weekends but then she moved to theses classes to another state and broke up with his bf. I felt bad and now i understand and i want to quit the insecurity but now he is blaming me for liking pictures and talk to other guys… i even feel like he flipped the hole situation to me as the issue…
August 21, 2018 at 11:03 am #222369AnonymousGuestDear Yu Arianga:
By “liking pictures and talk to other guys”- what do you mean?
And have you done more of that since you found out about his ex moving with him?
anita
August 21, 2018 at 11:10 am #222373Miss AlligatorParticipantThey are friends and people i share same interest like music and design. I like my friends pictures. Not like sexy pictures or so. Just pictures that they take. Sometime they are selfies, wirh family or their pets.
And i jus talk to them silly subjects nothing disrepectful or too intimate.
I honestly look more for my friends now that this situation with his ex is happening because i felt the need of talking to someone else. I didnt feel safe in my relationship but now im trying to be more focus.
August 21, 2018 at 11:17 am #222377AnonymousGuestDear Miss Alligator:
He called you a liar and hung up the phone on you. Did he make such accusations, hanging up the phone and such before, or is it all new behavior on his part?
How long has it been since he hung up the phone on you and does it mean the relationship is over, do you think?
anita
August 21, 2018 at 11:18 am #222379MichelleParticipantMy gut feeling is to take this outburst as a blessing and leave him be. You deserve better than someone who treats you like that.
August 21, 2018 at 10:13 pm #222465madi valentinaParticipantany man who gets defensive when questioned knows you are right. you cornered him about his ex-wife and yes that is the mother of his children so I understand his decision but why get defensive when asked if he would get back with her? and then reverse the roles and bring up Instagram acting like you’re cheating? because he’ss cheating
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