Home→Forums→Relationships→Am I getting my needs met in this relationship?
- This topic has 2 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 11 years, 6 months ago by
lea.
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November 20, 2013 at 2:27 pm #45546
Garrett
ParticipantWow Lea you’re exactly right! So many of the things in your story match mine almost exactly. I was so mad at my friend for being so selfish and for not giving me the attention that I think that I deserved for being such a good friend to him. Him and I talked last night and we were able to come to an agreement. I have a lot of things with social anxiety and I tend to make up extreme things when people don’t message me back or respond exactly how I would like. I think this is something you could investigate within yourself too. One of the most important things that we can do is to realize and tell ourselves how special we are and I think you would agree with that. However, another part of that is recognizing that others, even people we consider our best friends are equally as different and special. If you really value your friend so much I think you should a few steps back and maybe try to understand a bit more of her reasonings. It doesn’t mean you have to like them or even agree with them. I know I certainly don’t agree with a lot of my friend’s personality, but I still love him as much and try to find a way to learn something from it and make it a positive growing experience. Also, if this girl really is being so horrible to you, make sure you love yourself too. The fact is people aren’t going to love you if you can’t love yourself. I can definitely see she’s been quite the . . . annoyance . . .. sometimes, but it’s perfectly ok to get annoyed at your friends. What I’ve resolved to is I’m going to have to accept my friends differences because it’s wrong for me to try and change someone, and almost everyone has perfectly explainable reasons for why they act the way they do. My friend who is so cold and hurt me so bad had pretty emotional abusive parents and he’s just not able to handle emotional things. I hope you can learn from my story and that things can improve with your friend.
Peace and love,
GarrettNovember 22, 2013 at 6:57 pm #45678lea
ParticipantHi Garrett, You are right. I think that she is depressed because of her breakup. She has a hard time talking about things so it leaves me to fill in the blanks as to what is going on with her. I know everyone deals with things differently but as my friend, I need her to at least tell if she needs time to herself. She does not have to explain anything but being that I am going through a lot and I deal with depression and anxiety, I think I deserve at least that, so that I do not blame myself or blame her for us not speaking. Especially since she ignored most of my texts for a week but responded to one or two. That makes me feel disrespected. I understand if her thinking is “I do not feel like dealing with anyone right now.” But it seems that she has enough energy to tell me that she needs time to herself.
On top of that, yesterday I found out that one of my close friend’s mom lost her battle to lung cancer. This is something that would be nice to discuss with my friend. But I guess she will not find out about this until she feels like talking to me. I just feel like, I have been there for her even when I had my own stresses, and she should realize how she should be here for me. If she feels that her plate is too full right now, i deserve to at least be told so.
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This reply was modified 11 years, 6 months ago by
lea.
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This reply was modified 11 years, 6 months ago by
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