Dear zensofia:

I don’t think you are paranoid because it is not unheard of that two people that were in a relationship before resume their relationship. Also, it is not unheard of that geographical proximity facilitates relationships.

It reads like you have a good relationship with him (“We have a transparent relationship where we share our past and fears and hopes”), therefore I think it is a good idea for you to “ask him what he would do hypothetically should they bump into each other”-

-I would tell him that I am anxious about the prospects of ex 1 messaging him that they should meet in person, or him messaging her the same, and ask him what is his position on messaging her and how will he respond to her suggestion online that they meet.

Let him know that you are asking these questions because getting information often does calm anxiety, because one wonders less, ruminates less. Ask him in a casual tone, best you can, so that he is more likely to feel comfortable and tell you the way it is, for him.

Depending on his answers to the above, I will figure, if I was you, what to ask him next.

anita