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Always tend to get ignored…

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Viewing 3 posts - 31 through 33 (of 33 total)
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  • #107614
    chris
    Participant

    Just a little update. As usual, the girl whom i mentioned i went on a date with before, her texts are now coming very slowly. It had been fast the past few days, now its just waiting for hours to get a reply from her.

    Its has always been like this, people will start to talk to me at first, and then it will just slowly dies off. I thought we were talking fine, but i just dont have a clue why this happens to me all the time, she isnt the first, neither would she be the last.

    Of course, at first the anxiety wasnt there as i was controlling it. But now, the same old thoughts always comes into my head ” Am i doing something wrong?” “Does she find me boring ?” so on so on. I cant help it, not when it happens too many times before, its like i been scarred.

    #107619
    Brie
    Participant

    @junhao

    Slow texting after some time = normal behaviour.

    You can arrive at this conclusion after some proper testing.

    By proper, I mean (key 1:) how you approach your problem + what you test exactly + how different your tests are between each other.

    Key 2: small changes to underperforming methods = still underperforming. What does this mean?

    Key 3: your source = part of your approach = should be tested (think: at a bar in person vs. at a chess club in person vs. on a dating app over text)

    Key 4: offer is most important. Can be nicest guy, but what you offer = suck = no one will care. (think: best car sales man selling you broken car)

    Last key 5: you won’t know anything unless you track it.

    Carry this with you everywhere in life.

    Thinking, Fast and Slow: Your System 1 (primitive) will react, jump to conclusions, and overwhelm your System 2 (logic).

    Slow it down with the scientific framework above.

    Good luck

    #107621
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear chris:

    I think it is time to give the online dating a break, a long break. This is bringing you distress and you are not benefiting from it.

    Whatever you need to learn to make your life better, do it elsewhere, not on online-dating. Maybe here on tiny Buddha; better in competent psychotherapy.

    anita

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