Hi Ashley,
I can totally relate to what you are experiencing. I went through a bad break up a few years ago, and (Brokenharp) he ended up getting married to the person he left me for (within a year they were married with a baby). This was particularly hurtful when the reasons for wanting to split up were because he never wanted to get married and have kids (whereas I did). But anyway… what I did was to go to Meet-Ups, even the ones that sounded uninteresting, even when I didn’t feel like it. I was so horribily upset at the time (I had also lost a family member) that I had to break down each ‘social event’ or ‘meet-up’ into baby steps. So I would tell myself, “I just needed to put my shoes on”. Then “I just needed to walk to the bus stop”. Then “I just need to sit on the bus”…. etc, until I was at the event. I always told myself that I could turn around and go home at any point. But I never did need to. I would just smile at the first person I saw and say Hello. Sometimes it was good, and sometimes it wasn’t. But I ALWAYS felt better about myself, that I went and I survived. I ended up with some really cringy stories, that I can now laugh about with my friends. Just learning to laugh again really helped. I would just tell myself; these people don’t know me, are probably feeling the same as me and I want to make them feel better (all the emphasis was on them and not on me!). I also wanted to make a good impression. If you have just got a new job you must have a) looked good on paper b) impressed at your interview. Until socialising feels more natural, perhaps think of social events like putting your best points forward when you meet someone new. You can always leave the conversation or the whole event at any point (unlike when you have a boyfriend and you want to leave a party, but he doesn’t want to..ergh). You are now the captain of your own ship. If you feel like being a recluse for a few days, then do it. But give yourself something to aim for so you can check it off your list, and feel a sense of ‘progress’ or ‘achievement’. You never know what might happen.
Good luck !