Dear Uncool Zucchini:

Believe it or not, Jack, but you are way more likely to handle effectively a major stressful event if you handle well a minor stressful event today and the day after, one at a time, even here.

On this very website, you were attacked, called names, remember? You had a minor meltdown on the website. You wanted to give up and go away but you came back and strong. Not only did you come back, you stood up for me, again and again. And you stood up for yourself. And the people who attacked you- and me- have disappeared into Anonymity, haven’t they? They went away and they didn’t come back. Your poem about me: “You can’t beat her”- well, so far, you can’t beat Jack either!

I have no doubt, that unless you try very, very hard to not be effected by these minor victories here, you are more equipped for the bigger challenges.

One day, for sure, some challenge will beat me (I will die, I have nooo doubt) and some challenge will beat you as well (same thing, the RIP destiny). This is why we cannot eliminate fear. Danger is real and it will beat us one day or night. Until then, why not beat this little fear and that little fear. Why not flex the courage muscle one more time?

No, these words I wrote here are not arbitrary, not for me. Profound, memorable… why not? YOUR words have already been memorable and profound for me. Make more of your words matter. Make them profound, memorable.

As to your question: I can relate and I am not a cool zucchini. But guess what, someone said something memorable and profound to me. He said: “You can’t beat her!

anita

Jack, back in 1995 I lived in California. Talked to my sister who lived in Israel on the phone. She, my sister, was a movie star looking person, incredible. Anyway, she lets me hear a voice on her answering machine (at the time those were used) and I hear a voice very familiar, the rocky voice, Stallone’s voice on her answering machine, saying her name: “Evi” how strange that felt. Turned out she dated him at the time, while he was dating at the time a Jennifer whom he later married, and still is. Evi, my (younger) sister met him in Israel, LA and Rome where he filmed a movie at the time. I was hoping she would get on her way to stardom as a result but when he suggested to introduce her to people she didn’t take him on that.

Anyway, you, Jack and the reader are welcome to a piece of gossip from 1995 Stallone: she said he had this machine in his hotel room that massaged his head heavy duty, a big strange machine he sat under in his efforts to stimulate his scalp hair growth, to avoid being bald.

Free of charge and may be, here, the only place such delicate piece of information on this movie star has ever been shared!

anita

dear Jack:

Double post again. You wrote:
“Appease the intimidator
No time to be a gladiator
It’s my turn to say something
But I’ve forgotten my lines
I lose my perspective
and just want out
Flight over fight
every time.”

It is on record here on tiny buddha that you did not appease the intimidator, that you were the gladiator, that you did say what you had to say, again and again, that you fought over fleeing. There is record, you can look it up.

anita

Stress is all about how you frame it in your mind.

When you stand on the edge of a high building and the adrenaline and cortisol starts flowing in your bloodstream you can interpret that as a fear of death. Instead, another way to look at the response is it is your desire to live. Our desires make our life interesting and exciting, without desire we can not live.

Without desire we would not care if we fell from that high ledge. Without desire we would not care to eat, drink, go after relationships or earn money. The feeling you experience as stress is your greatest blessing, it means there are still territories left unexplored in your life. A rich life isn’t a life without hardship, it’s experiencing the totality of reality – inner and outer. When you have experienced everything you want to experience, you can die in peace.

When you have a negative attitude towards being out of your comfort zone you are simply not present enough when it happens. You are projecting negative images when it happens in stead of staying with them. When you are standing on that ledge you are probably visualizing yourself falling down in a horrible way, this will cripple us. In stead you should feel blessed for your body to give you extra glucose and oxygen to navigate you away from that ledge.