Dear F.R:

You shared before that you live in Mexico. Are there AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) meetings in Mexico, where you live, specifically?

anita

Dear F.R.

Can you tell me what about the AA system is not or has not been efficient for you? I ask because your answer will help me understand what it is that you do need in your struggle with alcoholism. (I will be back to the computer in about 11 hours. I hope other members will answer you before- and after I return).

anita

Hello,

I am as well an alcoholic and 24 years old. I started drinking when I was 22 and didn’t stop. I have a boyfriend who is as well a heavy drinker and he was the one who introduced heavy drinking into my life. I have anxiety horribly bad and drinking took all that anxiety away. However, when I drank too much it caused me to become angry and mean sometimes and I ended up going to jail for a while because of a fight that I got in while I was black out. It has basically ruined my life. I was in college before I started drinking and dropped out, I have lost jobs and friends due to being too hungover or drunk to do anything productive and upbeat. I lost my car because of it, I had no money because of it. It was a horrible time. It made me realize that it was ruining my life and so i decided that enough was enough.

It was incredibly hard to stop drinking for me. I craved it all the time. What worked for me was to think about everything that its taken from me anytime a craving came on. I created a little money saving thing for everyday I didn’t drink. I would put 5 to 10 dollars in a jar because that’s how much I would spend. (actually a lot more but that was enough to feel better) I also had to spend time away from anyone who drank, including my boyfriend. I wrote a list of everything I wanted for my life to make myself more self aware of what was important to me and how alcohol was ruining all of that. I got a gym membership and started working out. Which honestly is probably the best way to stop because you feel so good after and you physically feel like your doing better for yourself and you feel way better about yourself. I finally started talking to people about my addiction and that helped a lot too.

I think it has a lot to do with making big steps to better your life so you don’t have anxiety and feel in a rut anymore. Alcohol is a crutch for your bad feelings and curing your negative thoughts and feeling happy when your not drunk is what will help the most. Its really, really hard though. Hang out with old friends, go for a walk and get outside, do what you love, make art and listen to music… Take it day by day and it will get better. I haven’t gone to a professional but I’m sure that would help a lot too.

I do 100% know that being sober is 1 million times better than being drunk all the time. It creates so more anxiety and depression in your mind and body. There is really no way to become mentally and physically better if you continue to drink. You’re life will only go downhill as an alcoholic. I really hope that this helps a little bit and that you can find the strength to become better.

Much love

You are already ahead of the game by recognizing the problem! Alcohol fuels anxiety and depression and taking it out of the equation is both hard and necessary.

There are many many many ways to quit drinking, and not all of them even require quitting 100% (though most do).  Can you go to therapy and AA and the gym? And find a new hobby that keeps your hands busy? and get a work-out buddy or a movie pal? Anything to occupy your attention and bring a smile into your day will make this easier.

Making sure your body feels good – providing good nutrition, trying to get good quality sleep (alcohol interferes with sleep), and making sure you have a good laugh every day, will go a long way towards getting healthy.

Be patient and persistent. Know that you’re not alone. Look for some websites that resonate with you. Soberish.com?

good luck! You can do this!

Dear F:

You are welcome. Reading your recent responses, reads like you already have a daily routine in which running 5 km per day is significant exercise. You know what you need to beat alcoholism, from nutrition to exercise, yoga and meditation, keeping busier in school.

Of course, you need to be persistence doing these things.

Yes, I remember that you shared being gay in a previous thread. Why is it that you feel like vomiting when around men in a gym situation?

anita

Dear F:

I hope you made sure that the therapist you choose is either gay or is not prejudiced against gay people in any way. And I hope it is a competent, empathetic, and hard working therapist, one for whom you exist beyond the 50 minutes per session. I had my first very good experience with a therapist later in life and if you want, I will share with you what made my experience (2011) the first of its kind.

Being chased or persecuted for being gay certainly caused you anxiety. How can it not.

I am sure you know that it is illogical for you must like the physically attractive men in the gym because you are gay. This thought you expressed here makes me think of the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) exercise of challenging thoughts so to determine if they are distorted or accurate, and then, if distorted, correcting it. If you want to do this exercise here with me (I still have the form of this exercise in a folder, from my 2011-13 therapy), let me know.

anita