Home→Forums→Tough Times→afraid to live
- This topic has 327 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 8 years, 5 months ago by Anonymous.
-
AuthorPosts
-
February 15, 2016 at 12:13 pm #96077AnonymousGuest
Dear Wisdom:
You wrote that it takes lifetimes to understand god but you have only one lifetime you are sure about, correct? Regardless of the reason you are waiting (restaurant analogy), why not get active while waiting? Continuing with the food analogy, why not grow your own food, maybe? Visit different farms to see what they are growing?
I think this is what you want to do, isn’t it? “i like to look at everyones feelings, views and beliefs…” Only get up, get out and go looking… And since “god is inside of us and outside of us too”- as you get up, get out and experience life, you will learn about what is inside of you and so, you will learn about god that way.
If you “just got up and left the eatery” would that be a bad thing? Does god want you to sit and wait? Why do you think god wants you to see other people grow before you do? other people happy before you are? What is the purpose of that? Why?
anita
February 15, 2016 at 12:22 pm #96079WisdomParticipanti probably made a typo, but i like to see other people do better than me, not god. (well i wouldn’t know on god’s part haha!)
i’m not sure if it’d be a bad thing to get up and leave and explore though. i’m not sure if it’s okay to go on my own. over the years people have made god seem like this really punishing guy, even after the deal with jesus being crucified. i only want to do the right thing. i’m afraid to go totally left of what might be different from right now. i’m afraid to lose any faith from discouragement from my exploration.
February 15, 2016 at 12:26 pm #96080AnonymousGuestDear Wisdom:
If you explore, who will discourage you? God? Will god punish you, you are afraid, for exploring?
Did it already happen? Were you already punished for exploring, as a young child?
anita
February 15, 2016 at 1:08 pm #96083WisdomParticipantgod won’t discourage me, but the people or things that will scare me away from faith.
the way people look at god in genesis…adam and eve…that god is pretty scary. people always refer to him as a lightning striking, unforgiving god once you do something wrong or uncool. that scares me.
February 15, 2016 at 1:31 pm #96086AnonymousGuestDear Wisdom:
i understand that it scares you, to go out, take action and who knows… who, god or a person may punish you so… better stay safe and wait, wait for a sure sign, a clear message telling us it is safe now to go and take an action.
A powerful, lightning striking, unforgiving god is scary… and so are people… striking, unforgiving.
Safety, we need safety before we can explore, like a young child with her mother (a safe mother, that is), only when safe does she go away for a bit, explore, look to see the mother is still there, explores some more, goes back to the mother, for safety, before the next exploration.
anita
February 15, 2016 at 1:58 pm #96092WisdomParticipantbut should we trust that we already have safety? that we’re already okay?
i know we should trust god for everything, but it’s hard to really put full trust in when things are unclear. i hate to say that because i want to love god. so far i believe that i do. i feel that i do, but allowing trust, full trust and doing what i feel in my heart on a whim is hard. i guess this feeling comes from my relationship with my family and friends.
February 15, 2016 at 2:04 pm #96093AnonymousGuestDear Wisdom:
Reality is that bad things happen to people, good people, bad people, religious people and none religious people…children and old people. In the movie Unforgiven, one of Clint Eastwood’s lines was: “We ALL have it coming”- that is sickness, accidents, war, crime, etc. and definitely death.
This is a hard reality to accept yet whether we accept it or not, it is reality.
Not that bad things happen all the time, but they do happen. To everyone.
So, when you trust god for safety, you are not going to get safety because this is not the reality that god provides!
It is a tough thing, Wisdom, to learn: how to accept that danger is around the corner and at the same time venture out and explore.
There will never be a time that you can be guaranteed safety. So waiting till such time means waiting until you die. We have no choice but to find a (better) way to live with fear. Because danger is real and death is guaranteed.
But until we die, be too “afraid to live” (title of your thread) or apply the courage to live in spite of fear?
anita
February 15, 2016 at 2:35 pm #96094WisdomParticipantmaybe it’s better to have the courage, but just like you said a few days ago, it’s something that you have to practice. like the guy i like sent me something today, but now i’m wondering if he sent it only to me as a means of just us talking. i doubt it though. the message he sent me was something he could’ve sent a few people. i barely have anything to say unfortunately. i can never seem to achieve a real in depth conversation with him. and i’d like to, but i don’t know how. i never want to bother him or smother him, but i do think about him all the time. there was nothing in particular he said like “hi” or anything. snapchat is a complex thing and that’s the only way i have to talk to him just about. and i think telling him how i feel would be almost ridiculous. to say that i really really like him and i don’t even know what his favorite color is.
February 15, 2016 at 2:39 pm #96095WisdomParticipantalong with that i like to think that maybe, JUST MAYBE, he could be trying to get my attention. but that’s the confusion. i don’t know what it is. i only doubt it because i know i get a little mundane around him just to be careful not to be too mushy too soon. i don’t know how to act around him, but while i’m “away” i want to be around all the time.
February 15, 2016 at 2:49 pm #96099AnonymousGuestDear Wisdom:
You don’t know what his favorite color is, but you must know something about him to like him as much as you do and for as long as you do. You could (just imagining it, not suggesting you actually do it) message him and write to him what it is about him that you like. You could do the actual typing required to do so. Can you imagine that you could do just that? You might feel good if you did it. But you must also be prepared to get no response at all, or a response that is not a personal kind, or a response not good enough…
But you could.
As you wonder if JUST MAYBE he is trying to get your attention, can you imagine if FOR SURE you would be trying to get his attention by typing to him that you like him in a special way. My goodness, I cannot imagine you doing it but the thought is intriguing…
anita
February 15, 2016 at 3:06 pm #96102WisdomParticipantjust thinking about it makes me smile haha! idk if i’m laughing at myself or just really happy, but it could be both. he seems like a really good person. someone i can get along with. someone i wouldn’t mind being around forever. seriously. i’ve liked him for 3 years. i think he’s funny and smart and he’s one of the most beautiful people i’ve ever seen. he’s better than anyone i’ve ever seen. i think he tops them all. he’s just as close to perfection as it gets in my eyes, like a work of art. and his personality is just the same. he seems not to want a relationship though, i know that about him it’s something he’s let known for so long. he seems to be turned off by love. like it’s pretty disgusting, but i feel that somewhere deep inside him he probably doesn’t really think that. i don’t know what saying all this to you or on the internet will do, and i don’t know if i should take it all to a psychic, but i feel like if i told him all of this without even knowing if he considers me a friend or a real person, it’d show me off as kind of nutty. how i think i looked to anyone i’ve ever liked and maybe the world as a whole. i really like him though. he’s really the only reason right now why i believe in love. he’s the main reason why i hang on to faith.
i know i was supposed to go and write that all down for myself, but i have so many times already.
February 15, 2016 at 3:23 pm #96104AnonymousGuestDear Wisdom:
I am going out for a walk in the rain, a long walk and ponder fear (seriously, i am!). Read your post above and will reply to it later, as well as to any post I may find from you when I am back… disgusted by love, you wrote about him and he is interested in a relationship…? Hmmm interesting. I have no particular thoughts about this, but if you’d like to write more about him and what you mean by him being disgusted by love please do.
anita
February 15, 2016 at 3:30 pm #96106WisdomParticipantoh no no! he seems to not be interested in a relationship, I must’ve left out not haha! but anita, enjoy your wal in the rain and take in whatever you can and bask in it. just enjoy the energy that you receive and be safe!
I actually feel a little bad about even saying how I feel about him. idk, I just feel like i’m talking about him behind his back haha! even though i’m not saying anything bad and only simply asking for advice. I just feel like…i’m talking. idk lol.
but enjoy your walk and be safe!
February 15, 2016 at 3:44 pm #96111WisdomParticipantand just to add, i really don’t want to feel or look like a joke to him. i want him to like me. i want him to see me under a good like. i’ll be here whenever you get back and post.
February 15, 2016 at 6:47 pm #96122AnonymousGuestDear Wisdom:
I am back, had a 6 mile walk, then dinner and here I am. So he is not interested in a relationship, I see. I wonder what his reasons. I do wonder about people. Of course you don’t want to look like a joke to him, my goodness, that will be so painful for you! I mean, to be… ridiculed by a guy you like so much… I can imagine that hurt, I know this kind of hurt…
If you did write to him not how beautiful he is and how much you like him but if you write him that you like a specific thing that he wrote. something specific so it couldn’t reasonably seem nutty, like you mentioned you don’t want to sound like, just something specific, he may like it and feel good to get such feedback. Maybe you already have, idk (I just used idk for the first time in my life… I feel so young now).
Can you think of something specific he wrote recently, an attitude or an opinion or something that is special to him…?
anita
-
AuthorPosts