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February 6, 2016 at 1:13 pm #95157
AnonymousGuestDear Wisdom:
About what is real: what is here and now is not all there is, I am sure, but what is here and now keeps me occupied: there is so much to learn about what is here and now. I would recommend learning more about what you CAN see.
About choosing: babies don’t choose; young children only begin to choose and lots of people, adults, choose automatically much of the time, without thinking.
As to relationships and the guy you are interested in: as a young woman I can understand your interest in a loving relationship with a young man. This is one of the exciting things in your future. I understand that you are afraid to be rejected by this guy and that is why it takes courage to approach him, fearing he may not remember you or that you may not be his type.. This is a tough situation, to do something you are afraid of doing! To risk rejection…
Very tough, because the possibility of you feeling hurt as a result of approaching him is a real possibility. It may happen. Therefore, somehow, if you choose to talk to him, to approach him, you must be prepared to a possible rejection. In reality it cannot harm you: you are not having a relationship with him now, and if he rejects you, nothing in reality changes: you didn’t have a relationship with him before you approach him… or after. No difference. But you may feel hurt and you must be prepared.
Do you think you can summon the courage… and be prepared somewhat for a possible rejection?
anita
February 6, 2016 at 2:21 pm #95158
WisdomParticipanti feel like i should be able to “man up” about the situation since he’s someone i only know from the internet (i haven’t met him in person yet), but it might take more time for me to just get over the fear. i’m still thinking down the destiny road with him, so if he were to hurt my feelings, i think i’d be crushed more than i’ve ever been with any other crush i had before. which is probably totally silly since i’ve never met him! i get a feeling he means something different than other guys meant to me.
February 6, 2016 at 4:34 pm #95160
BenzRabbitParticipantHi Wisdom,
Anita has given you some very good advice – GOD bless u Anita for all the good work you do here !
Wisdom, I will only add that unlike humans, GOD is NOT vengeful !!
The Universe is asking you to find your own ‘strength’…and not depend on other people’s approval. It is not easy but it is doable….and once you find it you will overcome obstacles you previously thought impossible.
Please be careful trying to get into relationships without healing/strengthening yourself first – read the book called ‘Heal your life’ by Louise Hay – here is the link to her website:
http://www.healyourlife.com/authors/louise-l-hayGOD bless !
February 6, 2016 at 4:44 pm #95161WisdomParticipantbenzrabbit –
it’s actually very funny that you mentioned that book because that’s the EXACT book i came across the other day, yet i didn’t buy it over the shining by stephen king. i knew i should’ve gotten it but i have this massive obsession with the movie so i couldn’t resist getting the book haha! i actually have her app for symptom healing, but the closest mantras i have to what’s in the book is the one for apathy.
i hear you on how i should put in my own strength as well as god giving it to me, but i think i’m very very frantic and just as long as it may take to love myself and heal myself, it may take for me to acquire strength.
i also believe that god is not vengeful, although what i feel is happening (or not happening rather) for me is the opposite. i usually feel that maybe i have to do something in order for god to work with me. maybe that could be my own illusion.
god bless you too!
February 6, 2016 at 4:55 pm #95162WisdomParticipanti do plan on getting that book though benzrabbit. or at least getting a good read of it. i read a few pages, that’s all, but hopefully i’ll be able to actually get it.
February 6, 2016 at 6:24 pm #95164AnonymousGuestDear Wisdom:
The fact that you having the feeling that this guy means something different than other guys meant to you, and that he may be your destiny means, to me, that you are motivated and interested in having a good, loving relationship with this guy, that you are hoping for such. To me, it doesn’t mean he is your destiny (since I don’t believe in destiny).
It is exciting, the possibility of a loving relationship you may have with a young man. I sure hope this will take place soon enough, with the right kind of a guy, that is a good, honest, loving man.
What is more important to me in a possible relationship with this guy, is that you will be able to evaluate him and figure if he is an honest person who is empathetic and who will pay you the loving attention you need!!!
If you do initiate a meeting with him, if you gather the courage, it is only the first step. It is not all up to him you know: he has to be … good enough for you!
Till later, take good care of your precious self
anita* Dear BenzRabbit: thank you so much, and good to see you here!
February 7, 2016 at 8:42 am #95178WisdomParticipantit is exciting! i could never tell whether or not he would be the one to give me attention or affection. he was never mean to me, but i always feel pretty on and off. like i’ve always ended up doing somethinh for him to stop talking to me. i’m always myself with him, i don’t put on too many fronts besides being a teeny bit girlier than i usually am. i hope i get to meet him one day, i’d really really like that. so far all i do is try to get him to notice me outside of directly talking to him. that’s about as far as i can go. actually talking to him would make me way too nervous and afraid.
February 7, 2016 at 9:10 am #95180AnonymousGuestDear Wisdom:
Exciting it is. Fear is a powerful emotion and it hold lots and lots of people back, holds them from doing what they want to do. That is the nature of fear. I know it all too well. So you do what you can, with this guy, online. Maybe take a little bigger step in communicating with him, just a bit something more. When you are online with him- or otherwise, when you are afraid- take a few deep breath, slow deep breaths. You can also talk to yourself (aloud or not) and calm yourself with your own words, as if you were talking to a scared little child…
In fact, the part of you that is afraid is no different than a little scared girl… so talk to her, as if you were a mother to her, but a good, loving mother, giving yourself the positive attention you need, especially when you are afraid.
At times, you can figuratively take her by the hand and do something scary, a small thing that is scary. Just so to move forward…
anita
February 8, 2016 at 7:23 am #95250AnonymousGuestDear Wisdom:
How are you?
anita
February 8, 2016 at 10:00 am #95260WisdomParticipanti’m just fine, anita. i still haven’t talked to him, but i suppose i can wait. it might not be the right time if i’m still not ready. and i’m going to apply for jobs too. still thinking very much about acting (or just wanting to). so far all i’ve been doing is thinking (as always haha!)
how are you?
February 8, 2016 at 10:08 am #95261AnonymousGuestDear Wisdom:
I am fine, thank you. I am myself on the healing path, my own healing path, dealing with fear, with what it means, and am very curious about what is and what is next.
Like I wrote you before, fear is very powerful. It is the most powerful of all emotions, so I understand and appreciate its power. Isn’t this why it is easier to think than to do? Acting, I used to want to be an actress, to express myself for everyone to see, to see ME. That is because I was so invisible as a child and throughout much of my life. I wanted to be visible, I wanted to be seen, and I wanted to be all that I can be!
Did you take an acting class before? Any experience with acting?
anita
February 8, 2016 at 11:00 am #95274WisdomParticipanti really hope you do well on your path, anita! i would really love to help, but i wouldn’t want to give you any advice that i was unsure of, you know? hopefully you are getting advice from someone that can be way wiser than me. i’m very sure you can get through whatever you’re dealing with though, anita. you seem very strong and balanced. almost as if nothing could be wrong with you at all.
it’s very much easier to say than do!
acting seems very exciting, but i have never taken any classes. i can barely even read in front of a class. have you taken any classes or been in any plays to get the feel of acting? i see we have the invisibility thing in common.
February 8, 2016 at 1:20 pm #95288AnonymousGuestDear Wisdom:
Thank you for the good wishes for me. I used to ask people for advice but I no longer do and I think I didn’t offer you advice- the answers are in you, Wisdom. As in your user name: the wisdom you need is already in you. You just need to feel safe enough, not so “afraid to live” (the title of your thread), so to realize the wisdom you already have.
And you are helping me with your wisdom. Isn’t it interesting: you seem not to recognize your own wisdom, but I do. For example you are teaching me how you and I have the invisibility in common and how we both need to be visible, our human nature wants its visibility.
So… your path and my path come together right here, on tiny buddha!
anita
February 8, 2016 at 2:56 pm #95299WisdomParticipantyou’re welcome, anita and i’m glad i can help!
hopefully i’ll be able to see that the answers are inside of me one day. it’s usually hard to discern whether i’m looking at anxiety or a true answer. i guess this kind of thing comes over time after spiritual growth which i know is never an overnight thing.
and how our paths come together goes to show just how people that we come across in our lives are significant in some way shape or form!
February 8, 2016 at 3:15 pm #95302AnonymousGuestDear Wisdom:
I love reading your posts! Good insight, I say! Over time, as you calm that fear, as you summon courage in small steps, as you connect with supportive others, as you ask questions and look for the answers as you understand them, from your observations, your experience… you will grow to be and become more and more of who you already are…
anita
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