Dear Wisdom:

Of course I have these feelings that you described in the last two posts and in previous posts. We do have a lot in common. I wish there was a fast and easy way to feel better. The path of healing is long and requires patience. It requires a lot of patience and … faith that you are indeed walking that healing path, that path leading to mental health, mental well being.

Comparing yourself to others and to yourself when you were skinnier, of course I can relate. Only yesterday I saw a photo of myself when I was skinnier and I felt badly! But then I remembered myself at the time that photo was taken. Although I was skinnier, I was in a bad shape otherwise. I remember that. And I am not overweight now. I am just not as skinny.

We get these ideas in mind: if we were only skinnier and if only we knew how to play the piano, then everything would be all right. But this is not true. When I was skinny I was not all right. And there are plenty of people who can play the piano that .. are not all right.

There is a way for you, Wisdom, to feel adequate. You are adequate as you are, right now. You just don’t know it. Sometimes you know it but you don’t trust it. Make it a goal to know what is true.

The mirror exercise: talk to yourself. Get to know yourself as the worthy, adequate person that you are.

The assignment of the day, another mirror exercise or maybe a drawing, like you were a little girl.. communicate with that little girl in you? Let her talk to you..?

I am not sure. i don’t know what exercise would be right for you now. Maybe you can come up with one, experiment with it, see if it works, do something else if it doesn’t work. Please do let me know.

There is fear that comes with hope. Don’t let that fear take you down. Relax, calm yourself, distract yourself when you are overwhelmed (in non destructive ways)- watch TV, something like that… take a walk. Hot bath.

There is a way to feel adequate, only it is a long way. You are 19. If the way takes five years, you will be in good shape when you are 24. This is worth it. Start small, have faith. Keep posting and remember, please: just because it is not simple or fast, does not mean there is no way. It is just not… a simple or fast way.

anita

Dear Wisdom:

Practicing patience while working on our healing is different than practicing patience while waiting to be healed by a force outside ourselves, without our participation, without taking action ourselves! Patiently waiting while being passive is unwise.

So patience AND action. Action and Patience.

I don’t know what it means, the universe recording our anxieties: how? You mean like a god recording what we do, good and bad for the … day of reckoning…?

I don’t believe in any such recordings. Nobody takes notes. Nobody records nothing… except people recording the weather and the news, history, stuff like that.. and grades in school. Let me know more of what you mean by the universe recording our anxieties. I’d like to know what you mean.

I was out for a while. Don’t know if you will be back online tonight… If you are, did you do the assignment of the day. Perhaps a mirror exercise like the other evening? Saying loving, comforting things to yourself, calming yourself, talking to yourself gently, kindly …?

anita

Dear Wisdom:

You are up early. Did you sleep at all???

And did you do the mirror exercise at 5 AM?

The universe is all the planets and stars and all things that exist, from sub atomic particles to stars, mass and energy. A whole lot of mass and energy. The universe is what exists. It is not a god that knows what we think. There is nobody up there or out there knowing or caring to know what we think and what we feel.

Nobody knows, Wisdom, what you think or feel out there.

When you type here on this thread and tell me, then I know what I read. What you speak and write … and draw, that is actually communicate by action (to talk, to type, to draw, to paint, to make..) is what PEOPLE who hear you, who read what you write, who see your drawing etc. and care to hear, read, see… these people know something about what you think and feel.

No one else out there looking down at Wisdom or at me… and knowing what we think. Or feel.

anita

Dear Wisdom:

I would count the mirror exercise in your mind for yesterday’s assignment and making an acquaintance today as today’s assignment.

Remember we talked about what people say, that a lot of it is baloney? Remember that. When people say “You better make sure you put that positive energy out so you won’t be f-ed up”- this sounds like a threat: you better… as if there is a punishing entity out there. There is no punishing or rewarding entity out there. No such thing. Your choices matter, but not because someone is watching and judging you but because making wise choices, as small as they may be, promotes your mental and physical well being and that is a good aim. You eat well and exercise, that is good for you and not because someone is watching and taking a note: “Wisdom ate well and exercised today, so I will make something good happen in her life.”

No, doesn’t happen like that. You are good to your body and mind, then you experience the consequence of your choices, and the consequence is better health. It is YOU and your CHOICES. Not you, your choices and a mediator godly entity, a Universe, to interfere: it is only you, your choices and the natural consequences of your choices (and the choices other people make and the consequences of their choices as those affect you!)

anita

Dear Wisdom:

You have what it takes to figure things out yourself, to figure out what makes sense, what is rational. Seek wisdom in what you see in front of you instead of in imaginary “spiritual level” stuff. Just look around, see for yourself how things work. Try not to be so…spiritual. See with your eyes, hear with your ears… look and learn.

The truth is not… out there. It really is right in front of you!

anita