I agree so much with what Tom had said. I was or still is in a break up. I would just like share some of the things that helped me in getting through the shattering emotions of a break up. Firstly, the thought that “a little discomfort doesn’t hurt” has got me through the toughest of times when that pang in your heart starts to dig deep in your chest. For me it happened mostly everytime i wake up in the morning. i went through a lot after it, scared of being left alone, feeling unwanted and abandoned ( the break up was due to him finding someone else) until i came to point when i was looking at myself in the mirror reflecting on the dangerous things i have done just to avoid being alone, like a light bulb, it dawned on me that it wasnt people who think i can never be enough but that it was myself who thinks i am not enough for my own
everything after that changed and the sense of loyalty to myself has helped me tremendously in taking care of myself. I told myself that i will never give up on you. The feeling of being in love with someone is great, of being loved by someone as well but there is a certain stability and peace in the realization that you first love yourself that is why you can love others without constantly being hammered by the fear that they might not love you back. It was a process but it was all worth it in being closer to myself and finding inner strengths i did know existed in me.

Other things that helped me in seeing things in different perspectives are;

The alchemist by paulo coelho and other books by him
Mindfulness in plain english
Life of pi
Man’s search for meaning by viktor frankl

As well as beck’s sea change album

And yes i have gotten a liking to reading as well and also revisited sketching and drawing 🙂 it is good for you to find helpful materials which you can relate at times when you cant fully express what you feel inside. and lastly, i admire that you are able to come out of the relationship. I dont think that anyone can be happy at the expense of other’s suffering, so it is also unlikely that you will be happy in an affair. Ultimately you will lose yourself and begin to get used to things that are out of your moral standards. But the beauty about life is that with every ‘now’ is a chance to build a more peaceful, happier future and that no matter hard any given situation is, we can always find a meaning for it, like building a strong character out of suffering, or gaining a clear idea of what you want out of a break up. I hope things work out for you. Good luck 🙂

I too,was in an affair recently,only the opposite of yours,I met a woman at work who knew I was married,and non aggressively pursued me,basically for sex,sounds far fetched but it did happen,we had kind of a bad falling out,and I said some horrible things to her,and it basically turned my world and my heart and head totally upside down,I’ve been trying to cope with the fact that she is now gone and won’t talk to me or anything else for that matter,my wife is post menopausal and we hadn’t had sex in about 9 years,so when someone,a good looking woman told me she was interested in me just for sex I jumped at the opportunity,my wife is out of the country for months at a time,so I wasn’t worried about getting caught,but I’ve been in a major funk for the past few months,I know what I did was wrong,but this woman was amazing,and getting that feeling back of having sex regularly was amazing also,anyway……………