Dear misfuturedoctor:
You wrote: “we have had arguments. I have found it hard for me to trust him sometimes, and I get jealous and mistrusting very easily… I don’t know if us separating is better for us both or fighting for each other is better because I cannot see a life without him”-
– as you become long distant gf-bf, it is very important that there will be no more arguments, no more fighting. Fight for each other, not against each other. When you feel mistrust, suspicion, jealousy, control what you say to him, so to not start an argument. Keep your voice calm, choose your words. It is not fair to punish him for trust issues which he didn’t cause or encourage.
When you feel suspicion and you get angry, ask yourself: is there a reason, in reality, for my suspicion? If there isn’t, calm yourself. If you are on the phone with him and you feel that anger, excuse yourself and go take a walk or a hot or cold shower, so to calm down. Talk to him later when you are calm.
It may be a good idea for you to attend psychotherapy so to look into and manage your trust issues. If you want to start here, to look into where that suspicion is coming from, please do.
anita