Home→Forums→Tough Times→Advice for dealing with acceptance of pain and going back to a routine/schedule
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Anonymous.
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October 20, 2020 at 11:56 am #368005
AnonymousGuestDear Kibou:
You shared that you’ve been “going through an interesting journey of self-discovery and healing”, starting in March, doing “some self-help programs”, and you felt “good again, too good in fact, especially considering the fact it was lockdown time”. Most of the time you were “really happy and had immense confidence”, and “there were moments which were really painful or sad”.
Next, you were writing a book. As a result of your self-discovery and healing through writing this book, “Amazing things happened. I opened up more and started speaking out about what has troubled or worried me. Pain that was inside me. Also, memories unlocked”.
You realized that you have been running away, “but didn’t know until I had stopped”, that you built around you “a whole fortress with no entrances… how was anyone supposed to get to me?!”, and that you neglected your pain so to survive.
In September, when you were done with one chapter “which was a journey itself”, you cried, “lived pain just as I have lived happiness”, and you learned “to connect more.. to trust others a bit more”. In October, this month, you saw and labeled “all this pain”, and “the flames became still”. When you get too close to the flames emanating from the pain, “it still burns and hurts”, but you are doing better, “I am in pain but I am not suffering”.
“But it still takes me lots of energy to do anything… many simple things like getting dressed take lots of energy.. I really need to get back to my other stuff as I’ve been giving myself a lot of time off now. It is hard, and I think I am just asking if anyone has some advice”-
– my input: congratulations for beginning and persisting in your journey of self-discovery and healing. Some of your expressions in your post reveal great insight and deep understanding of human life and pain.
My advice: get into a new routine. You wrote that you’ve been giving yourself a lot of time off, sleeping in the early hours and waking up late in the day, skipping breakfast. Now, there are things for you to do, a bachelor thesis to attend to and other things, therefore, I figure that you need a routine to fit this next chapter in your life: waking up earlier in the day, having breakfast, doing the daily chores and errands, working on your thesis and so on. Incorporate exercise into your day and spend every evening perhaps, writing about your new chapter of self-discovery and healing, in your book (you are welcome to post here about it as well).
anita
October 20, 2020 at 4:23 pm #368025
KibouParticipantHello Anita,
Thank you for reading and your input 🙂
The new routine is what I am struggling with, mainly because of my sleep problems. I do try to go to bed early but would stay hours up late because I simply can’t fall asleep. I sometimes try meditative goodnight stories, but it has only helped once. Binaural beats don’t seem to do the trick either most of the time.
I’ve managed to get in some lunch for the last 3 days (I don’t eat breakfast because I do intermittent fasting which makes me feel better personally). It does cost lots of energy and can be quite challenging, but I slowly getting there.
I do exercise, quite a lot, but had to dial down because of lack of energy which keeps my muscles and bones sore for a lot longer (and my worsened sleep schedule and lack of nutrition intake probably count to this). But today I started doing more low impact workouts and started walking more instead of actually doing workouts. Spontaneously I dance when I hear good music to dance to, but that really does happen spontaneously and I just go with it since afterward I know I’ll feel better.
I had my first session with a counselor and it helped clarify or better said give me a specific wording as to what I am having trouble with, which is balancing my emotional and physical self-care. I have been currently dealing a lot with the emotional self-care and find myself in new territory. Hearing these words seemed to have shifted something within my thinking pattern and tackle creating a routine in a new way. Let’s see how it will go.
However, if you or anyone else, has some good ideas of how to fall asleep, I would be glad to hear it. I already tried a warm glass of milk, do not like listening to podcasts, the goodnight stories help only sometimes, and binaural beats.
Usually, I am fast to fall asleep. Also, it is my first time that I have experienced falling asleep rather difficult for an elongated period of time. It is getting better though. From 5-6AM, I fall asleep from 2-3AM. I still have a way to go, if I want to be back at my 10-11:30PM routine.
Kibou
October 20, 2020 at 4:30 pm #368027AnonymousGuestDear Kibou:
I will be able to read and reply to your recent thread in about 14-16 hours from now.
anita
October 21, 2020 at 10:30 am #368053AnonymousGuestDear Kibou:
You shared that you “simply can’t fall asleep”, but you have managed recently to fall asleep earlier than before; that you prefer to not have breakfast and it makes you feel better (so you don’t intend to start eating breakfast), that you “managed to get in some lunch for the past 3 days”; that you “exercise, quite a lot” and experience sore muscles as a result, that you had a session with a counselor who suggested that you balance your “emotional and physical self-care”, and you asked for “good ideas of how to fall asleep”. My ideas/ thoughts:
1. Continue to do “more low impact workouts and.. walking more” instead of high impact workouts, and do so regularly, as part of a daily routine. Walk instead of jogging or running. A regular, low impact exercise, and not having sore muscles is congruent with better sleep.
2. Have regular, nutritious lunch and dinner, or a few small meals starting at lunch and onward. Make sure you consume enough protein and healthy oils, as well as fiber, vitamins and minerals.
3. Don’t try hard to fall asleep at night. Adopt a non-attachment attitude to falling asleep: if it happens, it happens; if it doesn’t- it will eventually happen.
4. Avoid extremes in every area; Moderation is key.
anita
October 21, 2020 at 11:21 am #368056KibouParticipantDear Anita,
thank you for your advice.
I will follow the advice and definitely try to adopt a non-attachment attitude to falling asleep.
Shannon
October 21, 2020 at 11:30 am #368057AnonymousGuestDear Kibou/ Shannon:
You are welcome. Post again anytime.
anita
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