Hello Trixie,

I read your post with curiosity. I hear your pain and empathize how that must feel.

I would ask you these questions;

What do you want to accept?
What CAN you accept right now?
How big is the gap between what you want to accept, and what you can accept?
What does that gap look like?
What CAN’T you accept right now?
(In follow up to the above) Why can’t you accept this?
What needs to change for you to accept?
Apart from acceptance, what else is missing for you right now?

Although difficult, looking into ourselves in times of struggle can help. It’s a process. Do the work and be patient. Discover whats really important.

Another good technique to help gather a wider perspective of your challenge right now is to look at it from above. If you were in a helicopter looking down at you, your struggle and the people around you, what would you see? Whats going on around you? What are you doing to influence that environment? Whats contolling or influencing you? What would you like this aerial view to look like?

I sincerely wish you well in navigating a path to healing. You deserve a chance to move forward and grow. I hope this helps a little.

With warmth and love,

Matt.

Trixie,

There is a saying that goes, ” crying is not a sign of weakness, as since birth it has been a sign that we are ALIVE” I am sure you have heard it before, and when i read what you posted that’s what came to my mind. Firstly know this; you can have all the advice in the world, from professionals and friends, but ultimately you have to find peace within yourself. You have to take the giant leap, and heal. This always takes time; some parts of it may never go away. But were you start is by LOVING YOURSELF. You must learn to love your self before you love any other person. This is the greatest gift we can achieve as a human being. The first rule. No one will come down from heaven and lift you out of the whole you have put yourself in. You have to throw yourself the rope! Start by changing the thoughts that run around and around in your mind. Yes, those negative thoughts that swim through your mind, from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to sleep. It’s like a pattern, a habit, once it goes in it’s very hard to get out.

So from the moment you wake up in the morning say to yourself, “I LOVE MYSELF”. And as this new “Idea” is born in your mind you will see that your days go differently. And that you will start to laugh, because you found it funny. If you love your self, you will take back your power and heal yourself, no one can do that for you. If you take a look around you will see that w all have our own issues to deal with day in and day out. We have to be strong in this world. Pray your heart and start to change those thoughts. Watch the change happen in front of your eyes.