Tulips,

It sounds more like mutual combat than abuse, but the lines of war are often blurry. When you were lying there with him, what caused you to lash out? What is the deep resentment that entangles you?

I agree that counselling is a great idea. You both sound like you could use some help communicating and accepting, as well as disagreeing without violence. Also, consider reading (also an audio book) Thich Nhat Hahn’s “True Love: A Practice for Opening the Heart” or Pema Chodron’s “Don’t Bite the Hook”. Both are beautiful and full of deep insight into intimacy, connection, and compassion.

With warmth,
Matt