A soul connection is hard to find...

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This topic has 6 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 7 years, 11 months ago by Ryze.

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May 19, 2017 at 8:11 am #149981

Anonymous
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Dear Soopy:

It reads to me that you have all the answers to the important life questions. At 23, this is very impressive to me. So, no wonder you didn’t ask questions here, except for:

“Is it better to be miserable in your lonely existence, or together with someone who makes you miserable?

Is it better to stare at the ceiling of your bedroom alone wondering if you’ll ever find that someone you can love. Or is it better to lay in a half-hearted cuddle after some meaningless sex with someone you can barely stand anymore”- questions I think you asked yourself, not others.

You ended your beautifully articulated post with “Off to bed I guess? Good night.”- and if you went to bed alone, I guess you answered your own questions.

anita

May 19, 2017 at 8:12 am #149983

Anonymous
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* didn’t submit correctly…

May 19, 2017 at 8:30 am #149985

Craig
Participant

Hi Soopy,

Just letting you know that there are others out and about who have similar views to you on love. I think creating and cultivating love in a relationship is a masterpiece in progress, which certainly requires intention and time. I’ve recently re-entered the dating pool and many of the women I’ve met have a passive view of romance where they are waiting for love to happen to them, instead of actively creating something deep, intimate, and lasting. I think they will wait the rest of their lives. Hang in there, you aren’t alone.

Craig

May 19, 2017 at 12:00 pm #150021

John
Participant

I dont believe in souls and especially not soul connections but to me what you wrote was very rational and reasonable and had nothing to do with that. In fact I would love to find a woman with exactly this attitude. I would even make an exception and date someone that young if they were that wise (I am 30).

I especially like the part that love is a choice. In my last relationship I loved her as much as ever right to the end, no matter how she treated me because I had made the commitment to love her forever. I didnt see it as some fleeting mythical creature. I made the decision long ago to love her and therefore stopping was never an option.

Then all of a sudden she didnt love me anymore. It was a long time in the works but she never communicated so to me it happened in an instant. I was furious and still am nearly 8 months later because I dont understand how someone can just let such a great love die like that. The way I see things she made a decision to stop loving me and that is what I havent forgiven her for yet.

May 19, 2017 at 10:42 pm #150045

Susannah
Participant

Dear Soopy,

“A soul connection is hard to find…” That is true! And there are many couples, who do not share that bond. When they realize that and get a divorce, it is for the benefit for both of them! 🙂

May 20, 2017 at 3:41 am #150049

Ryze
Participant

Soopy:

You are so wise at the age of 23 and I believe one can find his/her soul mate. I wonder if the problem is not the option of divorce, but the low barrier to entering marriage. Perhaps there should be prerequisite course 1. getting to know oneself first and 2. meaningful 6-12 month couples’ pre-marriage course. It’s getting better, but there is so much fanfare around weddings. Isn’t the average amount couples spend on weddings $35,000? Couples are sold a fantasy. Certainly many women fall in love with the wedding process.

Soopy, you are onto something, but are you around the right people? Or, are you shopping for ice cream in a hardware store? Perhaps look for professions, charitable organizations, houses of worship where people live a lifestyle that matches your views– professions where serving others based on love and deep caring for others will expose you potential mates who serve and share the same priorities. Just a thought.

Ryze
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